Overwatch Character Ideas: Powerful abilities, with a price...

If ya'll know me personally, you know that one of my favorite games of all time is Overwatch! I just love the colorful cast of characters, and the fun abilities to use in-game. Although I "Main" characters from each category,  I would probably be classified as a healer main. With Ana, Moira and Brigitte being in my top four most played characters of all time.

(Sombra was my most played character for years, until other characters came out.)

With that in mind, I have plenty of character ideas and would like to make posts on this blog about them from time to time. I thought of an interesting concept for Overwatch characters based off of my other favorite game series, Suikoden.

I think It could be interesting for Overwatch to go the Suikoden IV route and have a character/s with an ability/abilities that does great damage towards the enemy, but also hurts the user. This could lead to some interesting strategies around using the character/s. But in order for it to work, there has to be a give and take. The abilities in question have to be stronger than other attacks in the game, otherwise no one would play them and just play other characters that have high attack without being hurt by their abilities.

For those who aren't familiar with Suikoden IV, the main plot of the game has to do with magic known as the "Rune of Punishment", a magical orb that gives the user immense power, but causes pain and torture to those who bear it. In fact, most of it's spells injure the user in the process of using it.

To get an idea, here is a list of the Rune of Punishment spells.

Eternal Ordeal: -300HP to 1 enemy, -30HP to self.
Double Edged Sword: -150HP to all enemies, -50HP to self.
Voice of Death: Very fatal (1 enemy), 10% fatal (self).
Everlasting Mercy:-500HP (all enemies), +500HP (Allies only, self excluded).

I'm going to take these spells, and turn them into an Overwatch style set of abilities!

First things first

What should the role of this character be?

DPS - It would be good as a DPS character because they could lash out high damage output, and the possibility of hurting/killing themselves would allow for them to really think about how they would use these abilities in their favor.

Tank - The tank role would be good as well as the tank could take lots of damage, and use their abilities more often, where as a squishy could die in two seconds. On the contrary, it could be seen as too overpowered for a high health hero to have!

Healer - If it's for a healer, they could be a high damage/high healing output. Having a healer hurting themselves with their abilities would be counter-productive since a dead healer isn't going to help your team, instead they could have an ability that hurts enemies, and only heals allies. The character in question would have to figure out another way to heal themselves.

What could be an interesting idea, is to split these abilities into three or more characters who would as a bonus, also work really well while on the same team.

What is this painful ability that does amazing damage, while hurting the user? There's plenty of ideas we can come up with!

In this instance, we are going to use the idea of magical lamps, such as a genie in a lamp that grant power to those who discover it!

Here's what I've come up with!

Pachaiappan "Pachai"

 The Challenging Heart

DPS

"Think YOU can defeat me?"

A fisherman's daughter from a small town in Thailand. Her village was attacked by a mysterious group of omnics, her abilities alone weren't enough to stop them, and her village was destroyed. Feeling weak for not being able to save her village, she decides to become stronger, and heard about a powerful item that will help her train to become the hero that she wants to be! This item lies in the heart of the pyramids of Egypt!

She fights with small stick batons that can change in length.

Abilities

Weapon: Baton  - Pachai's main attacks are using a set of close ranged combo attacks with her Batons.

Miasma Orbs - Pachai's basic long range attacks are given to her by the power of the genie; this power allows her to shoot small orbs at enemies at a quick rate, she can also "charge" the ability to shoot bigger, more powerful orbs. Small orbs do 50 hp per damage, medium size do 80, while big ones do 100hp.

Cool-down Abilities

Fisherman's Rage - Pachai revs herself up and increases her damage output by 30%, her defense goes up by 10% for 5 seconds. (This ability does not work on her ultimate, just regular attacks, Batom/Miasma Orbs.)

Block/ Passive Ability - When attacking, Pachai can use a giant fish to block attacks. Once she has blocked 100 damage, a consumable fish will drop on the floor that she, or anyone of her friends can use to eat and restore 50 health.

Blood Dance - Ultimate Ability. With the genies power, Pachai flings giant swords made out of Blood Miasma at enemies. For each time she hits an enemy, she loses 20 Hp, but the enemies suffer 100 damage per hit, it has a small splash effect that will damage nearby enemies by 30hp.
She can potentially lose 100 hp, but do 500 damage + the splash damage on nearby enemies.

This ability does not have a timer, instead she is given 5 swords to fling, and once she's used them up, her Ultimate will start charging again. 

This kit allows her to be somewhat of a "Fighting Game" character, her passive block ability adds to this, as well as gives her extra strategies to gain health so she doesn't die from her ultimate ability.

Blank
The Pained Heart

DPS

"Names are weird, just call me Blank..."

Experiment #97, also known as "Blank". Was once a street cat who was experimented on and tortured to the point of being on the brink of death!
One day, a  mysterious visitor broke all of the animals free, and everyone escaped. This was the opportunity of a lifetime! Blank had a second chance at life and escaped, but what was Blank supposed to do now?  Blank didn't have much to look forward to, with that being said, Blank decided to travel across the world, trying to find purpose in life!

A side effect of the experiments have caused Blank to become anthropomorphic, gaining human like features.  

Abilities

Weapon: Mirror
Mirror of Light- A magic mirror that shoots rays of light. It can be charged for larger, longer beam rays.

Cool-down Abilities

Sunshine - Magic mirror generates 4 balls of energy to heal for 50hp.
(Energy Balls are dropped and anyone could pick up)

Shining Light - Blind an enemy with your mirror, lasts for 3 seconds.

Burning Light - Being tortured your entire life teaches you a few tricks. Decrease damage done towards you by 30% for 5 seconds. For every attack you take, your attack damage is increased by 5% for 2 seconds, each attack adds an extra 2 seconds.

Ray of Terror -Ultimate Ability:  A quick ray of dark miasma appears, anyone hit by this light will lose 50% of their HP, there's a 10% chance the enemy can lose 90% of their hp. Blank loses 70% of their HP when successfully landing an attack on one or more enemies.

Passive Ability -
• Your cat-like reflexes allow you to run 50% faster after falling from a great height. (I may or may not have gotten this idea from my main in Dead By Daylight, Nea Karlsson)
• Stun abilities against you wear off 1 second earlier than when used on other characters.

Jimmi
The Heart of Gold
Tank

A lonely robot looking to make friends. It is often shunned, or scares people due to it's menacing face. While in a pub, a villager makes a joke saying Jimmi should go to Egypt to find a special item that will give Jimmi some "friends". Due to being a robot and not understanding sarcasm, Jimmi happily goes to Egypt in search for friendship! Note: Jimmi cannot talk.

Jimmi uses a long staff with screws at the end.

Abilities
Weapon : Staff - Jimmi swings it's staff around it's body as it's normal attack, as well as Jab attacks, similar to a spear.

Miasma Screw - Thanks to the Genie's magic, Jimmi can shoot magical screws from his staff. Upon impact, the screws shatter into even more pieces, slightly damage enemies in the area.

Cool-down Abilities

Speed Up - By using the tires on it's feet,  Jimmi can increase it's speed by 50%, which will last for 6 seconds. An additional 30 damage is done if Jimmi rams into an enemy. (This part is considered the passive ability)

Screw Loose! - Jimmi throws down a giant screw that decreases nearby allies attack damage by 50%. It lasts for 6 seconds, and can be destroyed.

Miasma Trap - Jimmi places down a long rectangular Miasma trap. If an enemy walks onto it, it causes 100 damage per second, and hurts Jimmi for 50hp. He can place down 4 traps per ult.

Dameer
The Heart of Consciousness

Support+

"Well uh... let's see, this potion will heal your wounds, but this one... this one will put warts on your butt! Well, we don't want that one now do we... eh?"

A kooky scientist from Dubai, he is looking for ingredients to make a cure for his sick child. Upon hearing a rumor of a powerful ingredient said to be lurking in the Egyptian pyramids, he decides to go on an adventure to find out about this "cure all" item!

He fights using potions to heal his friends, and hurt enemies.


Abilities

Health Potion - Dameer throws potions at friends to heal them for 50 hp each. He has to refill his potions after he's thrown 10 of them.(Similar to the Clowns Poison Gas in Dead By Daylight)

Miasma Potion - Dameer throws these potions at foes, they do 15 damage per second, for 3 seconds, the more he throws at a time, the faster the damage accumulates. If he misses, a small dark pool of miasma will appear on the ground for 6 seconds, and do 10 damage per second if the enemy touches it. Unlike the healing potions, he would have to refill his potions quicker, after 5 bottles.

Cool-down Abilities

Splotch Potion - Dameer throws down this special potion, it's a small area effect ability. Dameer's potion let's out an oozing goo that damages enemies that come in contact with it for 50 hp per second, and heals allies 75 hp per second. The ability lasts 5 seconds. Maximum damage is 250 hp, and maximum health generated for everyone is 375 hp.
It also decreases enemy movement speed by 5%. This is the only ability that Dameer can use to heal himself.

This ability could combo with his poison potion, since it would slow down enemies so he could attack them.

Resistance Potion - Small area effect. Allies splashed with this potion will be invulnerable for 3 seconds. (Most characters have an escape ability, this would be Dameer's, except it prevents him from being hurt)

Scientists Knowledge - Passive Ability - Status effect abilities have a 30% chance of not working. (This includes, poison, burn, sleept, stun. etc.) 

Ephemeral Mist - Ultimate ability. Dameer was given this special power from the genie. A large area is covered in a dark mist, it heals allies (except Dameer), and hurts enemies. Dameer throws a special potion that instantly engulfs the selected area into a dark black/purple mist, the mist will have white and yellow lights pulsate through it to heal allies. The mist will shoot dark miasma orbs at any enemy nearby. Enemy movement speed decreased by 10%, while inside the mist. (The orbs will not shoot if they're inside of it)

Healing 200 per second & 100 damage to enemies per second inside the mist, and 50 damage from flying miasma orbs that shoot out from the mist.
The ability lasts for 5 seconds, so it has the possibility to do 800 healing, and 500 damage.

I love summer! But no one else does?

I've always loved Summer, it's always been my favorite season! But I've noticed that everyone I know, and most people on the internet, LOVE WINTER, and HATES SUMMER. The constant hate on summer, is driving me insane! It's bothering me because I have no one that agrees with me, and it just gets annoying after a while.

Everything is alive in the summer!

An example is when I made a post on facebook, about how I wish it could be Summer all the time, one facebook friend told me about how they love cooler weather. In which I told them that I love hot weather, and all of my friends seem to like cold weather, and how it bothers me that all of my friends like winter. In which another friend posted saying how they love cold weather and wanted to trade places with me!  I thought it was annoying because, here I am talking about my love for summer, and these people keep complaining to me about it, and their likeness for cold weather. It saddens me, because I want more people who agree with me, I want my summer/hot weather peeps! I just get more fans of the cold.

I also really dislike that term "At least in the winter, you can put more layers on!". It doesn't matter how many jackets I put on, I'm still going to be cold! Plus, I don't want to walk around wearing 80 jackets, thank you very much. Not to mention, that you can't really cover your face, so that will always be cold, and if you have gloves, you can't hold things properly.
Also, that feeling of being in a warm blanket, and then having to get out into your icy cold room, IS NOT FUN. So no, layers doesn't work. Not to mention, when you put "layers" of clothes on, and you're "Warm" on the inside. You tend to sweat inside of your jackets, while your face, hands, and maybe even feet, are still freezing. That's not a fun feeling!!
During the summer, you can put on the AC, go swimming, or just splash some water on yourself! Especially a cooling fan that sprays water. I like being warm at all times, winter does not provide that.

Everything is dead in the winter

My entire life, I have always enjoyed warm weather. I always loved nature, the flowers blooming, trees, the smell of nature, everything under the sun! On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have always detested winter. I used to like snow, but now I can't stand it. In fact, during some of my school years, I used to get depressed that it was winter! It's known as S.A.D, or Season Affective Disorder. I would just get so dulled out, that it was cold, lifeless outside, and get dark earlier. Fortunately, I got over S.A.D.. but I still hate winter!

For me, 70 degrees Fahrenheit, is the best weather. It's warm, and not too hot, or chilly.  I don't believe I'll ever understand people who enjoy cold weather, I'm cold at 60 degrees Fahrenheit!

Fire Island Beach

My Pros and Cons of Summer

Pros

• It doesn't get dark out, until around 8pm. So you have more things you can do, like hiking!
• Warm outside, don't need a jacket.
• Going Swimming, in a pool, or at the beach! "
• The Beach is the best!

Pool

• Nice fresh air
• The earth and nature is alive, and it's beautiful.
• No waking up in the morning walking around with a blanket around the house, because it's warm out, and not freezing. 
• You can go on hikes in nature, ride your bike and other fun & adventures activities. (Due to my extreme dislike for cold, I refuse to do those things when it's cold out, I just don't like it!)
• Warm weather provokes you to be more activity oriented.
• Barbecue's!
• Short clothing, sandals, shorts, short sleeve shirts, no shirts.
• Trips to the mountains/forest.. etc.
• If you accidentally leave hot food in the car, it will stay warm! 
• If you're into guys, and or girls, you're in luck, because plenty of people will be almost naked to stare at!  (Like this one time, when I was taking the bus, and I got off the stop, and I was walking down the road.. and I saw this beefcake daddy with beautiful muscles just standing by his house and I was staring so hard.. I think he noticed, so I looked away like a bashful school girl!)


Cons

• Taking showers are weird because then you're hot and sweaty again in five minutes and feels like the shower was ruined.
• Mosquito's and other bugs
• When it starts to get colder, but you don't know what it's going to be like outside.. as the weather is very fickle.. and so you can go out and it'll either be sweater weather or not.
• Humidty can be hard to breathe in

My Pros and Cons of Winter

Pros

• It's so cold that you don't want to go outside, so you have an excuse to be a hermit.
• It gets dark earlier, so you can do night things like star gaze, or get freaky in the sheets. (What? I know that's what all "Ya'll" were thinking!)
• No Mosquito's or most other bugs.
• Getting to take lava hot showers! (Cause it's too hot to do in summer, unless you were in a cold pool and go into a Jacuzzi)
• If you're a sexual being with a significant other, you can cuddle with them to keep warm.
• October has the best clouds, just saying.
• If you leave a cold drink in the car, it will stay cold!

Cons

• It's cold outside!
• Because it's cold, the wind makes it even colder, and harsher. (Why does the air hurt my face?)
• Nature is dead, the leaves are all gone from the trees everything is dead, and depressing...
• You have to heat your car up before you go to work or school, because your front windows are always covered with ice, and fog. Might I add, it takes forever for a car to warm up in the winter. But it's very easy for a car to use the AC, in the summer.

"Fun" 20 mins wasted after work, cleaning my car off.

• Waking up, walking around the house with a blanket because it's too cold to do so without one.
• Snow = Obnoxious amount of shoveling, can't walk around freely, might hurt yourself by slipping on ice. I'm the kind of person who leaves for work at the last minute, so when it snows. It takes me 50 years to get the snow off my car, and then I'm late. I don't pay attention to when it's supposed to snow, I hate snow, I don't want to think about it. When it does snow, I'm usually put off guard, and then I'm late...
• An obnoxious amount of snow means you can't get around your house unless you shovel for hours.
• When it starts to get colder, but you don't know what it's going to be like outside, as the weather is very fickle, and so you can go out and it'll either be sweater weather or not.
• It's always cloudy in the winter! Cloudy weather is boring, and depressing.
• Let's not forget when it gets so cold, that you get frostbite!!
• Cold weather makes my skin dry, it cracks, and gets red, and itchy. It's not fun! This only happens to me in the winter.
• Going to the bathroom is a nightmare because the toilet seat is colder than Antarctica!
• Waking up in the morning is a chore, because  I don't want to get out of bed. Once I get out of my blanket, I will be greeted with the cold, and icy feeling of cold weather! It takes me 80% longer to get out of bed on a cold day, than a hot day. Hot/warm days energize me, and I love to get out of bed.
• I like to be free. With that being said, I don't like wearing 80 layers of clothes, I like wearing short sleeve shirts and light pants/shorts. I hate having to wear a bazillion coats, it's restricting. Plus, I can't pull off cute outfits if my shirt is being hidden by a coat.

For people who don't like summer, I recommend getting a cooling fan, that also has a water canister you can spray! It's super fun, and useful! I got mine by O2cool.

Spring & Fall: 

I don't have a problem with fall or spring, I like fall because of Halloween, and I like Spring because the flowers are blooming again. But I don't necessarily have a favorite, but maybe Spring because it means Summer is coming..

Final Thoughts: - In reality, people's likeness for Summer, Winter, Spring, or Fall. Comes down to their bodies resistance to certain weather. I've always noticed that people will talk about how hot it is, and I'm fine. I just have a natural resistance to heat, so it doesn't bother me as much as it does others, and the same could be said about people who like winter. They just have a resistance to cold, and therefore don't mind it.
I've never heard anyone hate fall, but any time someone says they don't like spring, it's because of allergies.

 

Fire Island Part 2

My Adventure to Fire Island! 

(If you try to look for Fire Island part 1 on this blog, you won't find it, as I never made it. I meant to make a fire island post 4 years ago, and never did. Now I'm making a new one, since I went the other day! I might as well just throw both experiences in one.)

Blast to the past 2015 (Hunty)

Picture it, Fire Island, September 2015. My friend Victor and I went on our very first gay adventure to Cherry Grove!

The first night, we went to a nice little place called Island Breeze. Which is a cute restaurant/bar. We stayed at one of the hotels, which they also apparently do porno's there. As later on, I saw on tumblr a porn gif, and I was like.... hey.. I've been in that hot tub!!!!!!! lol

I forgot what we did the first night, I just remembered being creeped out because there was a blood stain on the pillow case! lol

Our hotel host (For lack of a better word), was also a drag queen, and wanted us to come to their show the following day! (Spoiler Alert: Which we did.)

The first night, we went to the Ice Palace. We saw a drag queen who could imitate any famous singer! She was great! While we were enjoying the show, we had an un-welcomed guest!


This older man, who looked like a grown up version of Gibby from ICarly, came up to us. He told Victor that he was taken, and we couldn't have him, even though he's "so hot". Victor was like, Oh don't worry, I'm good!

Then the guy came up to me, and he's telling me about how cute I am, and he's kissing me on the cheek. Being the socially awkward person I am, I didn't know what to do! It wasn't until he pinched my butt, that I did a "karate move", as Victor called it. I told the guy to stop, and then he finally left us alone.

The next day, we went to see the drag queen who was also our hostess for our room. She was fabulous, she did lip singing. There was one part where she was standing on a table, and fell down! She got up and said she was glad she shoved a couch cushion up her ass! lmao.


She also went on about how one time she was swimming in the ocean, and had a "Day-Nightmare", which is like a day dream, but nightmare. I forgot what the story was about, but I just remember her saying she said something in front of her family.

Grown up Gibby from ICarly was there too, and he kept looking at me. He creeped me out! It's funny because I love older guys, but not that one!

Another situation, we were in the hot tub. Victor is talking to some guy next to us, about some scientific question he always wanted to ask someone. While that's happening, I'm sitting next to someone, and I kept feeling something touching my butt! I thought maybe the guy next to me kept bumping into me by accident, but no matter how many times I inched closer to Victor, I kept feeling it! I told Victor, and he was like, oh no, that's the guys boyfriend over there! He's not pinching your butt! Victor may be the whore of Babylon, but when it comes to cheaters, he's oblivious.

Events that I can't for the life of me remember, which chronological order it was.

1. This dude that owned one of the shops, kept being sexual with me, because he thought I was a prude. He touched my butt at one point, and was made a comment about "pinching my ass in public". He was just teasing me, so I didn't get creeped out by it or anything.

2. Victor and I went to an underwear party, and I actually went in my underwear! This was a big thing for me, since I was (and still am), socially awkward, and not always comfortable with my body.

At one point, everyone kept disappearing. Victor being the curious duckling he is, took a peep. He told me that I probably don't want to see what's happening. Turns out they were all behind a curtain, guys having sex with each other. Victor explained that he saw two dudes in one dude, and was very surprised. I left the underwear party early to go back to the hotel, leaving Victor behind. On my way back, there's a part where there's an opening where you can see the ocean.

It's night time, so all I see is a silhouette of two guys doing it (and I could hear the noises as well. lol)

I was like alrighty then, and kept walking.

I was a little worried about leaving Victor behind, but he came back shortly after.

3. Victor slept with the dude in the next room, this guy was jacked! Victor obviously has good taste! I for the life of me, could not find Victor, and I was worried something bad had happened to him. It wasn't until I noticed the door next to our room was open, and I just see Victor on top of this dude. Victor was wondering what was wrong, I told him, I just wanted to know where he was!

Apparently the guy he was with asked if I wanted to join, and Victor said I wouldn't be interested. (Which I wasn't.)

4. Victor and I spent most of the time swimming in their pool, and their hot tub! The hotel is clothing optional, and he mentioned that I had probably seen him naked more than I'd ever want to. I replied saying something along the lines of me not trying to look. lol

5. All the guys at the hotel were very sweet, but the ones you'd want to see naked, were wearing clothes, and the ones you wouldn't want to see naked, were...

At the same time, it was conveniently like a movie. Their private parts were usually hidden by their leg, or a chair... etc.. It was weird, but kind of funny how that kept happening.

6. The pool was salty, and I didn't want to know why....

Fire Island 2019 (Henny)

I got a new job in May 2019, and one of my co-workers invited me to go with her to the Halloween party they have every year. I have been wanting to go for years, but no one could ever come with me.

Conveniently, none of my friends could come out with me for Cherry's by the bay Halloween Hoe down. My friend Stephanie, was on a plane to Florida, and my friend Rebecca, was on a plane to China. How rude! jk. (Victor has since moved to Flo-Rye-Duh, on me. How inconsiderate! :P)

This was the first time I did mostly something on my own like this, I had never taken a train, or a ferry/boat by myself. I also spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out how parking worked! I thought parking was closed, because the poles were down. But I saw someone else go up to it, and use a machine, which made the pole go up so the car could go through. (On the way home, it took a good 30 minutes to get out of the parking lot!!! Everyone took so long to pay and leave! I was literally a minute!!)

I get to the party, and I loved their cute decorations!

I was waiting for my co-worker to arrive, which took like 10-20 minutes. I wanted to dance, but I have this thing where I don't want people to feel sorry for me, for being alone, and by myself. But of course, standing in the corner looking confused doesn't help either!

When my co-worker got there, I got to meet all of her friends, and her son and husband. Her son works there, which I thought was weird since it's a gay bar, and he's straight.

I was a bit of a wallflower, and I kept getting looks by the staff. I hope they didn't think I was up to something, I'm just really awkward in social settings, and don't know what to do with myself if I'm alone. Which is why I really wanted a friend to accompany me, at-least I would have had someone to talk to, and not look like a loner.

At one point, my co-workers friend Kerri was by the docks, and right over the edge of the water. My co-worker was worried she was going to fall in. Kerri replied, "Don't worry, I'm a mermaid!". Which I just thought was hysterical! 

Even though I didn't do much, It was nice to be there. Nice to be with my people! Sometimes I feel isolated, and or suffocated. Everyone I know is always straight, and I've had little exposure to lgbt people in the real world. (Since I don't get out much, most of the people I met have been through work)

Victor is my only LGBT friend, and he left me for Florida! (The nerve! jk)

It was nice to see so many guys hugging each other, or kissing, it was cute. But it also made me happy, that they could be themselves without persecution. Without being afraid of being discriminated against, gay bashed, or yelled at for being different. It made me really happy, and that thought that if by the miracle of the world... I could ever get a man, I would feel safe being there with him there.

I was a little alarmed that I saw more straight couples making out than gay, it felt kind of weird...

It's disappointing for people like me, who will find guys attractive, only to find out they're straight. So when going to a gay bar, and finding a couple of guys attractive, start making out with girls. It's disheartening... it's like, where are all the gay/bi guys that I am attracted too, it gets annoying sometimes. The point of a gay bar, is to meet lgbt people, not straight people, like what. I want to be attracted to gay/bi dudes for once, not straight guys. That already happens in a normal setting, the last thing I need is for it to happen at a gay club. (This happened when I went with Victor too..)

My co-workers friend said something that bothered me, she said that they couldn't talk about Trump there, because everyone there are trump haters.

Well no shit sherlock! Trump is taking lgbt people's rights away, it's bad enough he's already banned Transgendered people from the military, and now he's trying to allow lgbt people to be fired for being LGBT! He's scum! Of course we hate him, and we have every right to! It makes no sense that they can be disappointed that lgbt people are trump haters! How can we like someone who hates us because we exist?!

I didn't dance all that much, because even though I like to dance, I had terrible social anxiety. I didn't want to look like a loser dancing by myself, and I was also tired, and didn't know where I could dance since there were so many people.


My crippling anxiety did not allow me to make any new friends, there were a couple of cute guys there, and you bet your bottom dollar I didn't talk to them! Not only do I never know what to say, but I wouldn't even know where to start when talking to someone! I'm pretty sure one of the guys there I have on linkedin. lol

I have recently gotten into Lizzo, and was overjoyed to hear two of her songs play! One of them included "Boyz", which is one my favorites, as well as Rebeccas.

As mentioned before, I was mostly a wallflower. But It was still a nice experience! It really gave me time to think about how I need to learn to be more social, and really get out more. This entire summer I've been hanging out with my friends more, and just generally doing things I wouldn't normally do. 5 years ago, I would have NEVER done this. I would not have gone to fire island, let alone all by myself. I've really changed, and I want to keep changing. I need to get out more, I need to make more friends, and maybe get myself a man, or a sugar daddy that can pay off my student loans, either way really...

An hour before the last ferry got there, I went to where my co-worker and her friends were staying. It was nice to get to know them better, they're all fun people.

A few of them were staying there for the night, and a few weren't. I ended up going on the ferry with them, instead of being all alone like before.

I saw two guys kissing on the boat, and instead of turning into a yaoi fangurl like I usually do. It just gave me a fuzzy feeling inside, they're being their real selves without any repercussions. It made me think, although I don't mind being single, I still want that to happen to me someday. It warms my cold gay heart.

My outfit for the night

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This blog is currently being Re-written! Some things may need to be edited, or deleted. I'm also adding fancy new images to the site, that I've created!

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Anything that is in "this category ♦", is 100% re-edited, and complete, enjoy those articles in the mean time!

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Do closeted gay married men have no regard for their opposite sex partners?

 I just have one of those feelings, where I'm so annoyed, that I have to write so fast, that my keyboard is on fire, and my hands will spontaneously combust into dust, and I'll have to get replacement limbs from the dollar store!

 (Then proceeds to procrastinate on this post for an hour...)

So, I was on Quora, and I saw this question being asked.

"This straight wife was used and then murdered. Would you agree closeted gay men who marry women to hide their sexuality have no regard for the women they marry?" (Eventually the question was changed to "Some closeted men", which sounds a whole lot better.)

Link (The article)

Link to the Question

I answered,

I totally disagree with what you’re saying! Every person is different, so you can’t judge a person based off a similar event! This is why it drives me crazy when people just assume something for a whole group of people, Judge the person based off who they are, rather than what, they are.
What happened to that poor girl is terrible, and that guy is a nut-job! Nut-jobs are not defined by sexuality, and most of them are straight anyway. Did you hear about that dude who killed his whole family to be with some girl! (He was freaking gorgeous, I will admit. Why are all the hot guys taken, or serial killers! So typical! lol jk.)

Link  

There are plenty of women who married gay men unknowingly, who turned out alright... Which is as follows..

Not So Love Stories

¤ Let’s take Fran Drescher, she married a man when they were rather young. They broke up because her now ex husband, realized he was gay. This was over 20 years ago, and they’re still good friends to this day. They even made a show out of it called Happily Divorced. The characters divorce, but they still live together and go on dates with men. (I don’t remember for sure, it’s been a while) 

   Link

¤ Another example, is a more personal one. One of my managers from when I was in retail had the same thing happen to her! They had married, and when she was 3 months pregnant, her now ex realized he was gay. They did divorce, but they’re to this day, still best friends. He has a guy now, the sons best friend is gay, and she remarried (To this jerk, that she recently divorced, thank goodness, what an asshole! lol).
Funny thing though is, I realized she has no gay-dar whatsoever (Everyone else in the store figured out I was gay, except for her. lol) . So this could be a theme, that girls don’t know the guy is gay in the first place. (When I say that, I mean they are completely clueless to hints, such as a guy drooling over a half naked man, or something of the sort.) Obviously, things are changing since I've had crushes on feminine straight men before. So there’s not always a gay/straight/bi mold. But sometimes, you just know, or are completely clueless of someone’s sexuality.

The creator of the post responded to me, and said this.

"The link you shared about the man who killed his pregnant wife and his children his name is Chris Watts he was also having a homosexual affair at the time he murdered his whole family. This only furthers my claim that women are used and abused by some with an agenda."

(I found a link about it here. link )

This, is the part that annoys me so much.

First off, what agenda? What does that even mean? Are gay men trying to marry straight women so they can show off their amazing leg muscles, and act more superior? Are they trying to shove crocs in our faces?! Is that the agenda? The CROC AGENDA!! (I knew I couldn't trust them!! jk) 

I'd like to point something about the original article, with the main who killed the wife, to collect the insurance money, and be with a dude he met on Grindr. He killed her for the insurance money. However, this happens to everyone. In fact, that old Halloween myth about kids needing to be careful about poison in candy. It had to do with a man who killed his son by letting him have poison treats, just so he could collect his child's life insurance policy. Link

There are plenty of stories of straight men killing their wives, as well as themselves in some cases. The interesting thing I find, is when I looked up "Man kills wife", I found various stories of different straight men killing their wives.  Link 1 Link 2 Link 3
I also knew someone who was killed, because her husband was jealous that she liked her job, and thought she was having an affair. Link 10

But when I typed in gay man kills wife, I found almost the same stories about either the dude who killed his wife for the insurance money, or the other guy who killed his wife & kids, and was having an affair with a man, and a woman. Link 4 Link 5. As well as a terrible story about a dad who killed his wife, and his son for being gay (The son was gay, not the wife). Link 6

Which leads me to my next point. 

The reason why so many closeted gay people marry women, Is literally for the exact reason that poor guy was killed in Link 6, for being gay. For decades, centuries even, homosexuality has been frowned upon. On a daily basis, people are fired from jobs, bullied, beaten, kicked out, and even killed for being gay. Because of all the hate, and intolerance, many LGBT people are SUICIDAL! So many LGBT people take their lives every year because they can't take the hate they get from friends, family, and other people in their lives. LGB youth are 5 TIMES more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers. As well as 40% of Transgendered youth have considered/attempted suicide. Source
So with that being said, many closet cases could have a good reason to be in the closet, and marry a woman. They are afraid that their family will hate, or even try to hurt, or kill them, if they even say the word gay, let alone say they identify as it. Do I think they should marry a woman? No. Do I think they should tell the woman that he's gay, and just needs to make it look like he's straight? Only if she's okay with gay people, because if she's not, he'd probably just get outed by her, and she could be a dick about everything. 

The Trevor Project & The Try Guys team up.

¤ I'd also like to mention a friend of mine. My friend, T, was with a man for years and years, they had three kids. She always suspected he was gay, but to this day, she doesn't know if he is or not. (She said that he was never really interested in sex, and one time he went on a "boating trip" with a friend and she found blood on his pants, she thought maybe he had anal, and that happened in the process) They eventually divorced, and now she got married to a new man (Whom she is now also divorced from lol).

Anyways, one time T told me that if her ex is gay, his dad would probably kill him.
So this, once again, is another personal story. Where, although all speculation. It could be something serious, this man could be so afraid of his dad, or family, that he might be refusing to tell anyone, who he really is. (If he's actually gay/bi.)

The fact of the matter is, every story is different, every person is different. We can't judge every person in a similar situation, just because of one asshole! My friend Stephanie, broke her leg on a trampoline once. But you don't see her running around town screaming at people, saying not to go on trampolines, or you'll break your leg! (That would be kind of funny though.)