1. Most people don't know, that I'm gay! I am not a flamboyant person, nor am I masculine for that matter. I'd say, I'm a bit of both! However, people usually assume I'm straight. I think it's because I don't wear flashy clothes, or act effeminate, and it just makes people think that I am automatically straight. It's annoying when people always assume you're straight, it gets tiring to always have to come out, every time a get a new job, or meet new people. As well as, dealing with annoying things straight people say to me when they assume I'm straight. Because what happens is, people have to say weird things to me, that just make me uncomfortable. Such as "You'll learn about that later in life with the girlies" or "I use facebook to check out women *taps me on the shoulder*". Another time someone tried to hook me up with their female friend with "big tits", I just said I wasn't interested. Later on this person asked if I'd rather screw Ashley, or Cerina. (I changed the names for privacy reasons). I said Steve, you know, the security guard? He never tried to hook me up with a girl again! Ironically enough, this particular guy was rather cute and flirty with me, and even admitted to flirting with me! Maybe there was something else going on there... 👀
On the other side of the coin, I am not an open person, so I can be dodgy about my sexuality, until I'm comfortable with someone. Not to mention I don't like rude people, so I don't want to deal with the homophobes! (I keep them out of the loop intentionally). One time at an old job, I was looking at this lady's I.D badge, and it was over her boobs, and she covered herself with her sweater. Which made me realize she thought I was staring at he breasts, but I was just reading what her name was. She was very religious, so I never explained that I don't care about the two shelves she had on her persons, I was just looking at her badge. I get worried around religious people, I don't know if they'll smite me, or something!
(Future me hear editing this post in February 2020. Girl, I'mma tell you something that happened to me in August 2019)
So I was out with one of my besties, Rebecca, and we were at a local craft store looking to sniff some glue. (JK)
We were minding our business, looking at other things. This lady came by and said "What a cute couple", Rebecca just said "Okay?", because she didn't know what to say. I didn't actually hear what happened, she just told me afterwards.
But I wish I had heard the lady say that, so I could have just said "Oh honey, I like the pole, not the hole!". Alternatively, I could have said I was more interested in her husband, than my friend.
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| Picture by me |
2. I'm really lazy at home, but most people would never think that because at work and school I'm very into the task at hand. I have a procrastination problem, and the attention span of a potato! I'm currently working on it though.
3. My room is very messy, even though I am a clean freak, it's ironic, really. (As of 2019, I'm working on it. What I find really helpful, is buying organizers! I have a small room, so obtaining organizers that go upwards, is a really big help!)
4. People usually think that they freak me out, or scare me, when they say, or do weird things. But I'm a rather passive person, most things won't bother me. (Before becoming friends with a friend of mine, named Jaime. He once told me to "Feed him hangers"... I'm like whatever, you do you boo boo.)
5. I have yet to be romantically involved with anyone, even though I am now 28 ( I wrote this when I was 25 it seems). I was a late bloomer, when everyone was getting girlfriends and boyfriends, I was too busy playing video games. I didn't have sexual attractions until I was a bit older (19).
Now I feel like I won't even have time for a man, due to work, and personal projects I'd like to start in the future. Not to mention that apps are kind of lame for me, I don't really like anyone on there.. and I'd be too afraid to meet someone in person. I'd much rather go to bars/clubs, because I feel that I really need a physical/mental connection from the start.
6. People think that I always look sad or confused, when in actuality I'm just a very happy go lucky person! Although I do get confused a whole lot, but I think it's due to needing a moment to process what's going on. But usually, It's just my face. I'm just emotionless on the outside, and happy go lucky all the time, at the same time.. doesn't make much sense, but yeah..
7. I have really good memory when it comes to certain things, I can remember things people wouldn't remember. Like one time at my first job, I told someone I had good memory, and they said they would say a phone number and when she were to come back from her break, for me to repeat it. However, I didn't catch the whole number when she said it. Later she came back, and didn't ask me about it, so it means she forgot. But I remembered, and since I didn't hear the whole number, I didn't say anything... (lol)
I've noticed I tend to remember weird things. I'll remember what your cousins, mothers, aunt's, uncle did last year, but I'll forget what I was just doing two seconds ago. I catch people saying an event I was present for, and then mixing something up. (Like if you were ghost hunting with your two besties, and you encountered the new jersey devil playing with a tambourine. A year later, when recounting the story, your friends will say you guys saw bigfoot, playing with a hula hoop. Like through that time, their brain replaced the real memory, with a fake one.) I'll think to myself, that's not what happened!
8. People in the real world, are usually shocked when they see how open I am on facebook or in emails, and messages.
For some reason, I am much more open on the internet, where as in real life I am very shy, reserved and introverted.
9. As pro gay as I am, I once strongly disliked gay people. But it was clearly my internalized homophobia. However, I had no reason to be a homophobe, since I didn't know anyone that had a problem with it! It could also be that the only gay person I knew, was someone I could not relate with, and just didn't think I couldn't be gay, because I wasn't like that guy.
10. Most people that know I am attracted to men, have no idea that I prefer older guys. At this point, I've realized so much about myself. I like bald, muscles, uniforms, brunettes, salt & pepper hair.... On the contrary, I continue to fall for guys younger than me, and/or guys that are not my preference. I've even fallen for someone 8 (21) years younger, and 2 (23) years younger than me at this point. (As of November 2018, I am crushing on a ginger! That's also, a new one!) I've also recently realized, I have a thing for British guys. However, I just can't date someone who's really hairy, or a skeleton. (My friend Victor once told me, about how he couldn't date someone very skinny, and that the only thing he'd shove in their mouth, is a burger!)
(In 2019, I had a crush on a very skinny guy, so my preferences just change, it's what's inside that counts.)
11. I've actually been threatened to be sued online twice, once in 2007 for linking a website on my site without permission, and another time in 2012 for posting a picture on my old blog, which I had abandoned, and didn't get their message for months.
12. Everyone loves me and finds me to be a cool person, but that doesn't stop me from not really having any friends, or little contact with anyone. Most people don't go out out of their way to say "Let's hang out", or anything like that. It has changed over the years, but it's still pretty similar.
13. I am very bad at social interaction, and I'm very socially awkward. This is probably why it's hard for me to get a job, or make friends! [I always say the wrong things on interviews!] (Maybe I shouldn't have shown them my collection of Will & Grace on DVDs! jk)
14. Some of my best friends are people I have never met that I've known online for a few years.
15. I have a thing for one of my neighbors, who's a dad.
Instantaneously, his name is Mike, and I'm noticing a pattern where I'm attracted to guys named Mike, who also have Criminal Justice degrees...(3 different guys with the same name, and similar job background..)
16. I'm allergic to Sulfur, so even though I don't like alcohol, I did want to try wine. But I can't since wine actually has sulfur in it, and I don't know what would happen to me if I tried it. "The more you know"~
17. I'd leave Earth in a heartbeat if I could go to another world where magic exists, and I could fight monsters and travel exotic lands with unbelievable sights (Shooting fireballs out of my hand, teleportation, flying islands, talking animals.. you name it!)
18. I 100% believe in reincarnation, and I do believe I have lived before. There are images I have seen in my head, that I cannot explain, that do not originate from my imagination or dreams. There are certain feelings, and thoughts I get that are not mine. I get flashbacks of places I've never been to before, that was not from a dream. Eventually I want to go on a spiritual journey to find out more about my past lives. I have two spirit guides that I was romantically involved with in a past life actually.
It's all coming back to me! *Wiggles fingers*
In a past life,
you were....
a dusty broom!
19. Eventually, I want to move to California, Florida, or any other warm/hot weathered place that is gay friendly. I hate cold weather, and would love to move to a warm climate. I've always felt like I belong somewhere warm! I'd love to get to go swimming at any time of the month, and never have to wear a coat ever again, or spend 20 minutes getting snow off my car! (UGH!)
20. Other than the three childhood friends I had as a kid,(Relatives don't count), I didn't have real friends until I was 20. Mainly due to my shyness as a kid, although I'm lot's better. I am still shy, but not as bad as I used to be. I can actually hold conversations now with the cashier at McDonalds! Wahoo! :P (True story tho, like this lady at the checkout just started talking to me when I was buying my order.)
21. I'm a hypochondriac when it comes to everything! I'm also paranoid about everything too.. (Not in that, the aliens are watching me kind of way.)
I over analyze things, and tend to come up with crazy answers to things that aren't as I think they are.. ( Example: Like if someone doesn't get back to me with a text, I think they hate me or find me annoying.. )
22. I have telephonophobia, fear of talking on the phone. I will avoid talking on the phone at all costs. However, I have no problem talking on the phone at a work related setting. I think this is because at work, I do know what to say, while on a personal call I won't know what to say. I never know what to say to anyone, except online or via text because then I can think about what I'm going to say!
23. I have no problem drawing girl characters, but drawing guys I find to be a bit difficult at times. The best way for me to draw male characters is if they have more flamboyant clothing!
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| Example |
24. In the real world, 50% of my friends are straight women, 40% of my friends are straight guys, and about 1% are gay/bisexual men. I have no lesbian friends, as for some reason, lesbians seem to hate me so far. Online, most lesbians have been rude to me, in the real world, lesbians just flat out ignore me. One girl I used to work with, acted like a friend, but then just ditched me, and unfriended me on facebook. While another very friendly lesbian from work, wouldn't even add me on facebook! (She knew I was gay, so it's not like I was a random dude hitting her up. Either that, or she forgot...)
Online, I would say I have more straight/gay/bi male friends, maybe around 80%. Straight girls are like 19%, and I have like two lesbian friends I don't talk to anymore. So it doesn't really count.
All I want, is a lesbian bestie, like Tracer from Overwatch! Is that too much to ask?!
25. Even though I may joke about potatoes a whole lot, I don't actually like potatoes, I only eat them because they are good for you.
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