Upon meeting me, people usually think I'm straight just because I'm not running around with a rainbow colored cape and lip singing to Cher. Because of this, I have the privileged of being hidden under the radar and don't deal with homophobes unless they know that I'm gay. But that doesn't mean I haven't had any run ins with homophobes.
Here are three times I ran into a homophobe, which were all things that happened to me at different jobs I worked at. (Also conveniently the first three jobs I had in a row)
"How do you know you're gay if you've never been with a woman?"
At my first job in a mail room, I had a guy ask me how do I know I'm gay if I've never been with a woman. At the time, I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I'm just not into them. If I could go back in time, I'd say "How do you know you're not gay if you've never been with a man!?". Sometimes you have to throw their ignorance back at them!
My first Office Job
Story 1:
For whatever reason, some of my coworkers at the time were talking about shootings or something like that during a lunch break.
When we went back to our desks I was telling one of the ladies "Libby" that a 15 year old boy got shot in the face for asking a 14 year old boy out.
This lady started to laugh hysterically, like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard in her life. I was mortified, this woman was a monster to think that was funny.
Story 2:
There was this other time back in 2012 when DC was revealing that one of their characters was gay (It ended up being the Green Lantern, but at the time it was a big reveal everyone was talking about!)
Me and two of the girls were trying to figure out who it was, my work bestie at the time "Gwen" said it couldn't be Superman because Lois would be really mad if he was gay. lol
Gwen asked Libby who she thought the gay superhero could be, Libby got really uncomfortable and started acting weird and she just said she didn't know. Like it was such a weird interaction, that I knew that gay people made her uncomfortable just for existing.
"That's Disgusting!"
When I was in retail, we had this mentally disabled woman "Coffee" (She had a tendency to drool and I'll never forget the time she had just had some coffee... This scene is ingrained in my brain unfortunately.)
She's not all there in the head, but she's able to drive and she can make some conversation. She can clean up a department, but she also has to ask everyone if she's doing good, and also likes to complain sometimes about how I didn't get anything done (As I tend to get stuck on register, because the lack of cashiers), while there are other days where she says I do such a great job. It was always a mystery with her.
She was talking about runway shows to one of the cashiers, and I said she should watch Ru Pauls drag race, she said she "wouldn't go that far", "that's disgusting".
I was taken back, even though I live in a much more lgbt friendly area. The homophobia, and Transphobia is still around... and even yet, someone had to specifically have taught her that being gay, or Crossdressing, was wrong and or disgusting. Since she is special needs, I don't think she would have normally come up with such a conclusion unless someone specifically told her to feel that way.
There was another time where I saw a pair of socks with an owl, or some type of animal and I said I wanted them for myself. She said she saw them in the womens section and I should go and look for them.
This comment made me believe that she genuinely wouldn't have an issue with crossdressing or lgbt people, it's just that someone put it into her brain that it was wrong, so when certain words pop up, it just triggers a negative response in her.
After that, I knew what not to say around her. Regardless, this really hit me, and I kept thinking about it for two days after the fact.
This reminded me as to why I don't tell people my sexuality, until I know they don't have a problem with lgbt people. I don't need the headache! I'm oversensitive, and it'll just bother me for while, like this time.
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