I have this problem where anytime I like someone, they end up being straight!
First and foremost, don't get me mixed up with those idiots that go after straight men intentionally to try and "Change" them, that's NOT what I'm talking about!
(That doesn't work and should be frowned upon!)
My issue lies with the reality that any time I find someone attractive (Without knowing their sexuality), they always end up being straight! It's at a point that If I'm NOT attracted to someone, they're probably gay or bi!
(The truth is, because I don't get out much. That the people I'm meeting are in work settings, so the majority of people will be straight. If I go to gay spaces, I have the likelihood of meeting someone I'd actually be attracted to that could reciprocate my feelings. But that problem lies with the fact that I have social anxiety and really bad and afraid of talking to people, which I am working on. lol)
In fact, at one of the jobs I've had, there were only 3 other guys at work (Not including myself) and the only one I wasn't attracted to, was the other gay guy!
It gets frustrating after a while to always crush on people that will never like you back. Even when I go to gay clubs, the like 1-3 guys I find attractive will start making out with a girl and I'm like really?!
It happens EVERY TIME!!!
I think the main problem is the fact that not many people are LGBT and with that being said, I'm not generally attracted to as many people as others are. I've noticed this with my straight guy friends from when I was in retail, they would tell me that every girl that works there is hot and I'd only find one guy we worked with to be attractive (Who also always ended up being the really hot guy everyone had a crush on).
What's annoying is, when I have a crush on someone, I crush on them hard. I can't help it, I will tell myself, get over it he's straight, but then the next day I'm all lovey dovey and be like, he's so cute and such a nice person and what if!
(Don't ever what if yourself, if they say they're straight, they're straight, end of story!)
Another thing that annoys me is in LGBT TV shows and Films, everyone is always gay, even the "Straight guy" in it, turns out to be bisexual or something. This is honestly really bad, because it makes people like me think "I have a chance", when in reality, they don't.
I'd love to see a show where a gay or bi character has a crush on a straight person and instead of the straight person "magically" falling in love with them, their arc is about getting over being in love with this person that will never look their way and maybe once they get over that person, they meet someone else! That's way more realistic and I'd totally watch that.
- I don't get the logic behind people intentionally chasing after straight men, like why would I want to be attracted to someone that won't ever be interested in me? It doesn't make sense why people would go through something like that!
Although, the thing that kills me the most is how someone can mean the world to you, but you're just a flicker in their head, not even an after thought. How if they were actually lgbt, you would give them the world, while some random girl wouldn't even give them the time of day, it hurts like hell to care so much about someone that sees you as just a friend and it's so annoying.
On the Contrary
The only lgbt folks I seem to find attractive are random people on Instagram that are in other states or countries and I'm like, well that doesn't help me now does it!!! (lol)
Apps have never gone well for me either, I'm either too afraid to talk to anyone, or I'm simply not really into anyone on the app. I've tried to make friends with people, but they just think that I'm interested in
them when I'm not and so it never goes well.
I feel like I need a physical connection. Which is ironic considering I have social anxiety and that doesn't help since I just don't know how to talk to people! I rarely go out and I don't know how to make friends with random strangers, let alone try to find a boyfriend!
The only friends I've ever made were at places of work, especially retail. Since most of my friends still work retail, their schedules are random and usually they don't have the time to hang out with me, so it's not like I can just go with a friend to a gay bar if they're usually busy. (Also, I live an hour away from a gay bar so it would have to be an all day trip)
There's not really a point to tell your crush you like them if they're straight, so it's a battle I have to fight alone..
I just feel like I'll always be alone, I mean at least I wouldn't have to worry about relationship drama!
In Conclusion...
Straight people are so lucky, they could walk out their front door and find someone to date. LGBT people have to go through the woods to Grandma's house, cross the Bridge of Terabitha, follow the yellow brick road and when we get there, there's just nobody we're interested in.
Yes, I know!
Yes, I know Straight people can have unrequited love, but it hits different when you're LGBT. Like it wouldn't hurt as much if I simply had a crush on a guy who just wasn't attracted to me.
Yes, Straight people can fall for a gay person, but they have a much bigger selection, so it's easier for them to move on. Straight people have an ocean of eligible people to date, gay people have a tiny little puddle.
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