Do closeted gay married men have no regard for their opposite sex partners?

 I just have one of those feelings, where I'm so annoyed, that I have to write so fast, that my keyboard is on fire, and my hands will spontaneously combust into dust, and I'll have to get replacement limbs from the dollar store!

 (Then proceeds to procrastinate on this post for an hour...)

So, I was on Quora, and I saw this question being asked.

"This straight wife was used and then murdered. Would you agree closeted gay men who marry women to hide their sexuality have no regard for the women they marry?" (Eventually the question was changed to "Some closeted men", which sounds a whole lot better.)

Link (The article)

Link to the Question

I answered,

I totally disagree with what you’re saying! Every person is different, so you can’t judge a person based off a similar event! This is why it drives me crazy when people just assume something for a whole group of people, Judge the person based off who they are, rather than what, they are.
What happened to that poor girl is terrible, and that guy is a nut-job! Nut-jobs are not defined by sexuality, and most of them are straight anyway. Did you hear about that dude who killed his whole family to be with some girl! (He was freaking gorgeous, I will admit. Why are all the hot guys taken, or serial killers! So typical! lol jk.)

Link  

There are plenty of women who married gay men unknowingly, who turned out alright... Which is as follows..

Not So Love Stories

¤ Let’s take Fran Drescher, she married a man when they were rather young. They broke up because her now ex husband, realized he was gay. This was over 20 years ago, and they’re still good friends to this day. They even made a show out of it called Happily Divorced. The characters divorce, but they still live together and go on dates with men. (I don’t remember for sure, it’s been a while) 

   Link

¤ Another example, is a more personal one. One of my managers from when I was in retail had the same thing happen to her! They had married, and when she was 3 months pregnant, her now ex realized he was gay. They did divorce, but they’re to this day, still best friends. He has a guy now, the sons best friend is gay, and she remarried (To this jerk, that she recently divorced, thank goodness, what an asshole! lol).
Funny thing though is, I realized she has no gay-dar whatsoever (Everyone else in the store figured out I was gay, except for her. lol) . So this could be a theme, that girls don’t know the guy is gay in the first place. (When I say that, I mean they are completely clueless to hints, such as a guy drooling over a half naked man, or something of the sort.) Obviously, things are changing since I've had crushes on feminine straight men before. So there’s not always a gay/straight/bi mold. But sometimes, you just know, or are completely clueless of someone’s sexuality.

The creator of the post responded to me, and said this.

"The link you shared about the man who killed his pregnant wife and his children his name is Chris Watts he was also having a homosexual affair at the time he murdered his whole family. This only furthers my claim that women are used and abused by some with an agenda."

(I found a link about it here. link )

This, is the part that annoys me so much.

First off, what agenda? What does that even mean? Are gay men trying to marry straight women so they can show off their amazing leg muscles, and act more superior? Are they trying to shove crocs in our faces?! Is that the agenda? The CROC AGENDA!! (I knew I couldn't trust them!! jk) 

I'd like to point something about the original article, with the main who killed the wife, to collect the insurance money, and be with a dude he met on Grindr. He killed her for the insurance money. However, this happens to everyone. In fact, that old Halloween myth about kids needing to be careful about poison in candy. It had to do with a man who killed his son by letting him have poison treats, just so he could collect his child's life insurance policy. Link

There are plenty of stories of straight men killing their wives, as well as themselves in some cases. The interesting thing I find, is when I looked up "Man kills wife", I found various stories of different straight men killing their wives.  Link 1 Link 2 Link 3
I also knew someone who was killed, because her husband was jealous that she liked her job, and thought she was having an affair. Link 10

But when I typed in gay man kills wife, I found almost the same stories about either the dude who killed his wife for the insurance money, or the other guy who killed his wife & kids, and was having an affair with a man, and a woman. Link 4 Link 5. As well as a terrible story about a dad who killed his wife, and his son for being gay (The son was gay, not the wife). Link 6

Which leads me to my next point. 

The reason why so many closeted gay people marry women, Is literally for the exact reason that poor guy was killed in Link 6, for being gay. For decades, centuries even, homosexuality has been frowned upon. On a daily basis, people are fired from jobs, bullied, beaten, kicked out, and even killed for being gay. Because of all the hate, and intolerance, many LGBT people are SUICIDAL! So many LGBT people take their lives every year because they can't take the hate they get from friends, family, and other people in their lives. LGB youth are 5 TIMES more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers. As well as 40% of Transgendered youth have considered/attempted suicide. Source
So with that being said, many closet cases could have a good reason to be in the closet, and marry a woman. They are afraid that their family will hate, or even try to hurt, or kill them, if they even say the word gay, let alone say they identify as it. Do I think they should marry a woman? No. Do I think they should tell the woman that he's gay, and just needs to make it look like he's straight? Only if she's okay with gay people, because if she's not, he'd probably just get outed by her, and she could be a dick about everything. 

The Trevor Project & The Try Guys team up.

¤ I'd also like to mention a friend of mine. My friend, T, was with a man for years and years, they had three kids. She always suspected he was gay, but to this day, she doesn't know if he is or not. (She said that he was never really interested in sex, and one time he went on a "boating trip" with a friend and she found blood on his pants, she thought maybe he had anal, and that happened in the process) They eventually divorced, and now she got married to a new man (Whom she is now also divorced from lol).

Anyways, one time T told me that if her ex is gay, his dad would probably kill him.
So this, once again, is another personal story. Where, although all speculation. It could be something serious, this man could be so afraid of his dad, or family, that he might be refusing to tell anyone, who he really is. (If he's actually gay/bi.)

The fact of the matter is, every story is different, every person is different. We can't judge every person in a similar situation, just because of one asshole! My friend Stephanie, broke her leg on a trampoline once. But you don't see her running around town screaming at people, saying not to go on trampolines, or you'll break your leg! (That would be kind of funny though.) 

My Account Got Deleted??

A few days ago, I made a Listography account. Some Twitter friends had one, and I was really interested in it. I figured this is perfect, I had plenty of lists on my old Zetaboards forum, that I could transfer over. Since Zetaboards closed down, and turned into Tapatalk. (Which deletes inactive sites after 30-90 days).

On Listography, I added a profile bio, an avatar (A drawing of mine.) I made one list of all my accounts on other sites, such as Deviantart, Twitter.. etc..
I had to go to bed for work the next morning, although I wanted to continue, I had to stop.

So fast forward a few days later, today. I was like, oh man, let me go look at my Listography, and add more to it! When I read "User not found". I was like huh? How can that be? There must be an error! I look around, maybe I'm on the wrong profile, I check my emails to see if there was something about account deletion. I find nothing.
I snoop around, and I find the Listography main page.

"Our spam detector automatically deletes suspicious accounts. To avoid deletion: MAKE introductory lists, DO NOT link to shady websites, DO NOT create multiple accounts, DO NOT create an account that is AD-like. Suspected spam accounts are deleted within one week and not retrievable."

I was like, are you kidding me?? I had a real bio, and all the sites I linked to, were Twitter, Deviantart, etc.. and not shady sites.. but somehow, their program must have picked it up, and deleted me! (There goes an hour of logging into my accounts, down the drain!)
At first I thought I'd make another one, but I thought, it could happen again, so I'd rather not. It's a shame, I really liked the way Listopgraphy had everything, but I'm not risking wasting my time for something that might get deleted again. This is just bad consumerism, if I'm using that in the right context.

Picture by me.

My advice for Listography, and any site that uses an automatic bot deletion program.

•  Hire volunteers to check out profiles, there are people who will do it for free. (Since it's made by people who made the site for fun, and not a company.)
Back in the old days of the early 2000's, there were plenty of people who volunteered their free time to help run websites,  I don't see why people wouldn't do that now. (Especially good for people wanting to get a marketing/social media job in the future, it could even count as job experience.)
If the bot detection program (BDP), spots a suspicious profile, a volunteer could check the profile out to see if it is a bot, or just a little innocent ol' me, just starting a new account. This gives real new users a chance to actually save their account, and redeem themselves.

The third twitter I ever made, is named Esmeralda'sdildo, which is based off a character I made. It was banned for two years, because  I was lazy and didn't do anything to save it. I sent them an email saying I was just a person using the account for a character, and they lifted the ban. The account got banned through their bot detection system, but at least it wasn't deleted!

• Get a bot verification program. You know when you log in/sign up for a site, and it asks if you're a bot, and makes you type in words/letters from a picture? "3d5h8s"

• Email accounts that get deleted. It should be easy enough to set a program up, that will at least email the user, saying their account was deleted. This way they aren't in the dark, like me.

Hopefully, there's another site that's similar, that doesn't have a program that just wipes things out. If not, I'll just continue to make lists on blogger, like I was doing in the first place!

Hypocritical People

So, with all of the Nike controversy nonsense going on. I'd like to chip in on my two cents! (Read my whole post, and I'll make it 3 cents!) At first this post will be about the Nike Controversy, but will delve into other similar situations!

Picture  by me

Nike

For those who don't know, or if you read this 20 years later. Nike is under fire, because it used an NFL player in it's ad. (From my understanding, this NFL player kneeled during the national anthem during a game, in order to protest against racism, and so now he's under fire. Although technically in America, with freedom of speech, so it's acceptable. But do your own research, and form your own opinion!)

Source

Due to this controversy, when people saw the Nike commercial involving this player, they were outraged. They decided to either cut off the Nike symbol on their Nike related items, or actually burn the materials! Most of the people outraged, are conservative leaning.

Twitter 

Now here's the irony, many conservatives have a long track record of complaining, whining, about liberals, and calling them snowflakes. However, when something as simple as a commercial, starring a dude they don't like shows up, they go bonkers and do something reckless (Initially making them look like fools). Instead of doing something destructive like this, that just wastes materials, they should do something more proactive. If they really care about the situation, they should have a level head and act like an adult and protest, or just don't buy Nike things anymore. Instead, they just act immature and cut, up and burn things.. kind of like having a tantrum almost. From my knowledge, liberals don't do this, they just boycott/protest and they're on their way.
Now yes, both sides of the table all have their crazies, and rational people, but the ones doing this are not very rational at all. So this does not mean EVERYONE, just various people are acting this way.
Also, by buying Nike products, to burn them, they're still supporting Nike, ironically.

Destroying materials, is also not good for other reasons as well.

1. These clothing items could be used, and given to homeless, or people in need.

Source

2. Imagine taking so much time to create something (A Nike worker, or any worker in general, creating the product), just to find out that someone cut it up, or burned it. Would you not be upset that your hard work was destroyed over something like that?!

3. Not only that, but it's a waste of materials too. The earth is running out of materials, maybe Nike's clothes don't contain those materials, but it's better if we leave things the way they are, and produce less waste!

4. In general, many items are created by the use of bugs, animals, maybe kids in sweatshops, and other things. Imagine ruining something made out of silk, do you know how many silkworms it takes to make one scarf? Because I don't remember, but I know it's many, and I'm pretty sure the poor things die in the end too. Put in perspective, how many people, or creatures it takes to make an item. I think about this way more than I should in any general way.

The interesting thing about this, is I see this theme frequently. 

Here's where we go into new territory. Yay!

• I used to have a girl on facebook, who would complain about liberals being snowflakes, but then when something pro-liberal happened she'd whine about the silliest things. She also said once about how she needs to move out of New York, and get away from it's "Liberal-Ness", and complain about how there wasn't straight pride...  (brb rolling my eyes.)

But because I don't remember much about what she said, I can't say much about her.

If you say, why isn't there straight pride? Don't. Read my post from 2014, this will guide you.

Why there is no straight pride

So the following are some hypocritical things that I've noticed from many conservatives. 

It's a known fact that most conservatives hate gay people, so you can probably guess what I'm about to say.

There are plenty of times, where gay people have been denied jobs, hotels, plane seats, and even cake, just for being gay. In fact, a very close friend of mine went on vacation a few years ago. He booked a one bed room, for him and his boyfriend. They gave him a two bed room, because they were homophobic, and refused to have two guys in the same bed! Well, jokes on them, they decided to sleep in one bed, and have fun in the other!

Such as the time an engaged couple came to buy a cake, the owner refused them a cake because it was "Against their beliefs", even though, when you open a shop, you're serving to EVERYONE. I worked retail for 5 years, and I always had a smile on my face and helped them out, even when people said things I disagreed with!

Baker refuses gay couple

This particular situation is even worse than you think, since the D-bag bakery owner leaked their personal information. So the couple gets hate mail, even after 3 years, and people even know where they live. Not only did they decide not to serve a customer, but they leaked private information, which is against the law!

Oh, and another one

When these, and other events happened. Many conservatives thought it was the funniest thing, and that people don't need to serve people, if they don't match with their religion.
So not only are they using religion to cause harm, and hate. But just being overall rude about the situation as well!

Here's where the hypocrisy starts.

Years later, a republican politician is kicked out of a restaurant for her views. Conservatives go wild, they're outraged!

Source

This is inherently, the same situation. I don't agree with you, or your views, so I won't serve you.

So when gay people are refused service, conservatives laughed at them, and think they deserve it. But when a member of their party is kicked out, it's the worst thing imaginable. It's absolutely hypocritical.

I see this stuff all the time, and half of the time it's not political, just well hypocritical! That should be the name of a song, or something.. hm..

Here's another lgbt related one, as you may or may not know. LGBTQIA people are often hated, and attacked. We need safe spaces, where we can be safe, and talk about our mixed tapes!
In many countries, it's illegal to be gay, you can be arrested, badly hurt, or even killed. So places like these are very important! Especially when most people who commit suicide are young LGBT teens, just knowing there's a place you belong can mean everything!

That's where irony like this comes in.

Source

"Can only imagine the discriminated outrage if a Hotel had a •Straight Only policy"

Yeah, I mean it's not like you can get killed for being gay, or anything.....

Picture by me

On a Side Note

Conservatives got mad at Starbucks, for having a red cup, instead of a cup that says Merry Christmas...

These people feel entitled to their religion, and don't see that other people have different religions. Which is why Starbucks did this, since they are a public company. They didn't want to shove a holiday in everyone's face, that not everyone believes in.
Conservatives thought they'd purchase a coffee from Starbucks, and write Merry Christmas on it... Well, you just gave them money, so you're still supporting them, instead of "Showing Them Who's boss!".

Hypocrites in Games! 

This annoys me quite a bit! In Video Games, the girl characters have their boobs hanging out, and the male characters are all fully clothed.
The second a male character is wearing revealing clothing, or there's a gay male character "It's Too political".
In the post below, they complain about Social Justice Warriors, having their way and having girl characters wear actual clothing for once. I mean, it's not like us guys, and girls had to deal with girl characters having their boobs flop everywhere for decades or anything. (brb rollin' my eyes to mexico.)

My comment

"This is hilarious, us guys and girls not into women have had to deal with boobs in our faces for decades, and now that some characters are less revealed, they're whining like little babies. Then the second there's a half naked dude, they complain about "how political!" HILARIOUS!"

My post

Heterosexual men, who play games drool over all the half naked girl characters, or lesbian characters. But when a guy is sexualized, or is gay, they lose their crap. Its not a cool double standard, and hypocritical!

Obviously, there are good and bad people in every situation, so it won't apply to everyone, and it's not about everyone, just the big complainers of the world! lol

Most of my Formspring friends were jerks?

From 2010-2013, I frequented a website called Formspring. Formspring.me (Later known as Spring.me, which sounds like a porn name), was an ask and answer site. People would make profiles, and users could ask other people questions. Users could also ask questions anonymously, I don't remember if non-users could do that as well, or if it was strictly people who had accounts. Formspring later died in 2014/2015, and joined up with a dating site called "Twoo", which my spam program always tells me is a harmful site. Ironically enough, Formsprings competitor, Ask.fm (Which I didn't really like, or use), is still around.
I had found out about Formspring, from Yahoo Answers. I found someone interesting on there, and saw they had a Formspring. We ended up becoming friends, and I was introduced to a few of his friends as well!
Unfortunately, my friend, Jye, vanished off the Formspring. I never found out if he just moved on, or if something bad had happened to him.
I met many interesting people on there, however, many of them turned out to be jerks. I stopped talking to most of them. What's upsetting is, I was rather close to a few of them.

It's  silly to talk about stuff like this, but I think it's the experience, and the story time, that can be entertaining, quite possibly.

1. Teri Pterodactyl - One of my mutuals with Jye, Teri, was always so rude. I ended up cutting ties with her. Since she thought an image I posted was unacceptable, even if I was gay. Like what.. it's an innocent picture of two girls with a birthday cake, maybe it's YOU whos mind is in the gutter? Post

2. Mystique - I think my friend, Mystique, was the hardest one. We were really good friends, and I always got so excited talking to her. But she started getting rude, and homophobic. See the Mystique Series.
Two years ago, she messaged me on Tumblr to see how I was doing. I responded, but she hasn't gotten back, I don't think she uses Tumblr often. lol I wouldn't mind if she tried being friends again, that was already years ago, many things have changed.

3. Tish? - I don't remember her name, but it was something like Tish. I thought she was cool, but she wasn't very responsive. I'd ask her questions, and like her posts, but she wouldn't do the same. I even made a comment about how she doesn't seem to be my friend, and she liked it, but said nothing, so I just didn't bother anymore.. no need to be friends with someone who doesn't care.

4. Outer Spacer - Spacer had deleted his account, but I found an old post by him that I hadn't seen before. He told me he thought I was annoying, somehow I missed this response when his account was active. I was surprised! I wouldn't have talked to him at all if he thought I was annoying, I would have said bye bitch! Shame he deleted his account before I saw it, I would have slapped a ho! He was rather bitchy in general, I could have said that to him!

5. Ronan - We were really good friends, we talked about everything, and he was really funny too. But once Formspring was over, we didn't really talk much anymore. But I felt a distance between us on facebook. He eventually unfriended me, which I thought was rude since we were so close at one point! In this case, it's not rude, it's just upsetting that someone you were close to, just kind of vanishes.

6. Danger Noodle - Was a seemingly cool dude on formspring, but he was actually a slab of homophobic garbage on Facebook. He thought being gay was a choice, when I explained to him, that it wasn't, he continued to tell me it was. Then posted a link to a Christian website, that literally came up with opinions as to why being gay wasn't genetic. It was not research, just opinions. So I blocked him faster than a prostitute comes on a Saturday night. Blog post
I saved what he wrote, maybe I'll make that a blog post!

7. We'll call her H - I thought I got along well with H. I did notice that she'd unfriend people on Facebook, that were from Formspring. I was glad that I hadn't gotten deleted! That was, until much later. H didn't like that I didn't really like the word "Gay", I prefer to use other words (I have since grown out of that, and don't have a problem with the word gay anymore.). She also made a comment asking if I had a problem with the term partner, to refer to a gay couple. I said I don't like it, I find the term partner, to be demeaning. Like gay people aren't good enough to straight people, (Like straight couples are boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, but gay people are "partners". It feels weird, like lgbt aren't good anough, and I don't like it.) . She'd get mad at me if I was hating on straight people, but she also thinks it's okay for black people to be racist towards white people... (Oh, the irony!) [Also, hate cannot be fought with more hate!]
One day I just noticed she unfriended me, but hadn't unfriended my other account on facebook, so I did the favor for her! I'm rather glad I'm not friends with her, I don't want to be friends with a hypocrite.

8. Next up is Double Danger - DD and I didn't always see eye to eye, but he was still pretty chill. (I'm pretty sure he was a very slight homophobe)
For the most part he was fine, until a few months ago. I posted a seemingly innocent post on Facebook, about the goddess herself, Daisy, from the Super Mario franchise. I said she should have a game of her own! A few of my friends liked my posts, and commented. However this one... was acting like I killed his family, and burnt down his village. He gave an angry react, and then proceeded to be hella rude about Daisy, and talking about how she's a terrible character. I don't care if you don't like a character, but like don't crap on other people's likes.. I'm also an intellectual, if you don't like something I love, like lets have an intelligent discussion as to why you don't like something.
Which he didn't, he just said how much he hates her, and even when I said "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it", he pretty much just said he can do what he wants. Which is super rude, so I deleted all of the pictures he tagged me in, from 2012 (There were a lot of anime pics he put me in..) Then I unfriended him. Like he honestly acted like I just blew up the world, just because I liked a character, and he didn't. It was weird, and immature.

9. Danger Damon - was always cool, he's also good friends with D. After Formspring was gone, and we were on Facebook,everything was fine. But the last few years, he'd only post on political posts I made. Which is fine, it was always an opposing viewpoint, and I welcome other sides of the story... but what I found weird, was as follows.

• He lives in Europe, and he's talking about America? I just find that strange.
• He would only comment on my political posts, to the point where it was getting annoying..

Like why be my friend if you're just going to comment on the one political thing I post on Facebook a a year?
I unfriended Danger Damon and Double Danger at the same time, they're weird, rude, and annoying.

(For the record, I have plenty of friends on Facebook, that don't share my political views)

So that's how most/ half of my formspring friendships ended. I still have a few on Facebook, and the rest are cool.

Funny enough, I became close friends with someone named Van on Formspring, when it was dying. Now we're really close, and he's one of my online besties now.  I was telling him recently, that's he's one of the few good people from Formspring. lol

I've almost been sued on the internet TWICE!?

At the ripe age of 28, I can honestly say I've almost been sued twice online, so far...

The first offense -

I was 17, and I was really into message boards at the time. I was kind of friends with someone, who also had their own forum as well. One day, I put an advertisement for their message board on mine. I was contacted the next day by them, and told to take their advertisement down. I asked them why, they didn't tell me, they just said to take it down. I asked why again, they didn't answer me, and this went on a few times. If they had just told me why, I would have taken it down right away, just let me know what's going on. But because I didn't take it down, as I wanted to know why first, they banned me from their website! So I took it down, and then they told me that I didn't have the rights to advertise their website on mine. I thought this was outrageous, who doesn't like free advertising?
Because I was 17, and very petty. I went on dead message boards, and complained about them. Turns out, they also went on these very dead boards, and found out I was complaining about why they'd ban me on their site for free advertising. This is when they decided that if I didn't delete all the posts about me complaining about them, that they would take legal action against me. This was a middle aged person, ready to sue a teenager (With no money), because they were upset over my petty posts (on very dead websites).
I took the posts down, and I banned them from my site, and never talked to them again.
Did I go too far by complaining on random sites that were long gone? Yes, I shouldn't have done that in the first place. But I feel that they took it way out of proportion as well. Like why not just explain to me, why you don't want me to advertise your site on mine? Why is it so hard to explain something to me, so I can understand better? I've told this story to many people, and they all thought it was weird that this person didn't want me to advertise their site, on mine.

What's in the past, is in the past, and I've since let go. However, anytime I see someone with a similar username, I get freaked out that it's them. lol

The second offense - 

The second time this happened, was, in my opinion, much more reasonable. In fact, I hadn't realized that what I did, was not something you do (Since it's something everyone does)

I had a blog, where I just posted images of hot guys. (Which is now privated, because I don't use it anymore, but I also didn't want to waste time deleting a million posts, in case the event happened again.)
I was using this blog for maybe 2-3 years, after those years. I just got tired of posting pictures. Posting these pictures was a phase to me.
A year or two later, I got a message asking me to remove one of the pictures. They said I would have to pay them, if they wanted me to use the image, or they could even sue, or whatever.
I was emailed on an inactive email, so they sent the message one day, and I didn't read it until like 3 months later, when I conveniently used the email.
I messaged them back, telling them I removed the image, sorry for the wait etc..
They said thank you, and that was the end of that.

It wasn't until then, that I realized that, you really need permission to use images first. I had thought, it was okay to use an image, as long as you're not making money from it, but that's not the case. You can get into trouble for using anyone's image, even if you don't make money off of it.
I'm just glad that this person was understanding, and didn't get mad that I hadn't messaged them for three months.
Since then, I'm careful with what I post on here! I try not to use images that aren't mine anymore

 (Which is also why I'm re-branding the blog, with images all made by me!)