Fire Island Part 2

My Adventure to Fire Island! 

(If you try to look for Fire Island part 1 on this blog, you won't find it, as I never made it. I meant to make a fire island post 4 years ago, and never did. Now I'm making a new one, since I went the other day! I might as well just throw both experiences in one.)

Blast to the past 2015 (Hunty)

Picture it, Fire Island, September 2015. My friend Victor and I went on our very first gay adventure to Cherry Grove!

The first night, we went to a nice little place called Island Breeze. Which is a cute restaurant/bar. We stayed at one of the hotels, which they also apparently do porno's there. As later on, I saw on tumblr a porn gif, and I was like.... hey.. I've been in that hot tub!!!!!!! lol

I forgot what we did the first night, I just remembered being creeped out because there was a blood stain on the pillow case! lol

Our hotel host (For lack of a better word), was also a drag queen, and wanted us to come to their show the following day! (Spoiler Alert: Which we did.)

The first night, we went to the Ice Palace. We saw a drag queen who could imitate any famous singer! She was great! While we were enjoying the show, we had an un-welcomed guest!


This older man, who looked like a grown up version of Gibby from ICarly, came up to us. He told Victor that he was taken, and we couldn't have him, even though he's "so hot". Victor was like, Oh don't worry, I'm good!

Then the guy came up to me, and he's telling me about how cute I am, and he's kissing me on the cheek. Being the socially awkward person I am, I didn't know what to do! It wasn't until he pinched my butt, that I did a "karate move", as Victor called it. I told the guy to stop, and then he finally left us alone.

The next day, we went to see the drag queen who was also our hostess for our room. She was fabulous, she did lip singing. There was one part where she was standing on a table, and fell down! She got up and said she was glad she shoved a couch cushion up her ass! lmao.


She also went on about how one time she was swimming in the ocean, and had a "Day-Nightmare", which is like a day dream, but nightmare. I forgot what the story was about, but I just remember her saying she said something in front of her family.

Grown up Gibby from ICarly was there too, and he kept looking at me. He creeped me out! It's funny because I love older guys, but not that one!

Another situation, we were in the hot tub. Victor is talking to some guy next to us, about some scientific question he always wanted to ask someone. While that's happening, I'm sitting next to someone, and I kept feeling something touching my butt! I thought maybe the guy next to me kept bumping into me by accident, but no matter how many times I inched closer to Victor, I kept feeling it! I told Victor, and he was like, oh no, that's the guys boyfriend over there! He's not pinching your butt! Victor may be the whore of Babylon, but when it comes to cheaters, he's oblivious.

Events that I can't for the life of me remember, which chronological order it was.

1. This dude that owned one of the shops, kept being sexual with me, because he thought I was a prude. He touched my butt at one point, and was made a comment about "pinching my ass in public". He was just teasing me, so I didn't get creeped out by it or anything.

2. Victor and I went to an underwear party, and I actually went in my underwear! This was a big thing for me, since I was (and still am), socially awkward, and not always comfortable with my body.

At one point, everyone kept disappearing. Victor being the curious duckling he is, took a peep. He told me that I probably don't want to see what's happening. Turns out they were all behind a curtain, guys having sex with each other. Victor explained that he saw two dudes in one dude, and was very surprised. I left the underwear party early to go back to the hotel, leaving Victor behind. On my way back, there's a part where there's an opening where you can see the ocean.

It's night time, so all I see is a silhouette of two guys doing it (and I could hear the noises as well. lol)

I was like alrighty then, and kept walking.

I was a little worried about leaving Victor behind, but he came back shortly after.

3. Victor slept with the dude in the next room, this guy was jacked! Victor obviously has good taste! I for the life of me, could not find Victor, and I was worried something bad had happened to him. It wasn't until I noticed the door next to our room was open, and I just see Victor on top of this dude. Victor was wondering what was wrong, I told him, I just wanted to know where he was!

Apparently the guy he was with asked if I wanted to join, and Victor said I wouldn't be interested. (Which I wasn't.)

4. Victor and I spent most of the time swimming in their pool, and their hot tub! The hotel is clothing optional, and he mentioned that I had probably seen him naked more than I'd ever want to. I replied saying something along the lines of me not trying to look. lol

5. All the guys at the hotel were very sweet, but the ones you'd want to see naked, were wearing clothes, and the ones you wouldn't want to see naked, were...

At the same time, it was conveniently like a movie. Their private parts were usually hidden by their leg, or a chair... etc.. It was weird, but kind of funny how that kept happening.

6. The pool was salty, and I didn't want to know why....

Fire Island 2019 (Henny)

I got a new job in May 2019, and one of my co-workers invited me to go with her to the Halloween party they have every year. I have been wanting to go for years, but no one could ever come with me.

Conveniently, none of my friends could come out with me for Cherry's by the bay Halloween Hoe down. My friend Stephanie, was on a plane to Florida, and my friend Rebecca, was on a plane to China. How rude! jk. (Victor has since moved to Flo-Rye-Duh, on me. How inconsiderate! :P)

This was the first time I did mostly something on my own like this, I had never taken a train, or a ferry/boat by myself. I also spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out how parking worked! I thought parking was closed, because the poles were down. But I saw someone else go up to it, and use a machine, which made the pole go up so the car could go through. (On the way home, it took a good 30 minutes to get out of the parking lot!!! Everyone took so long to pay and leave! I was literally a minute!!)

I get to the party, and I loved their cute decorations!

I was waiting for my co-worker to arrive, which took like 10-20 minutes. I wanted to dance, but I have this thing where I don't want people to feel sorry for me, for being alone, and by myself. But of course, standing in the corner looking confused doesn't help either!

When my co-worker got there, I got to meet all of her friends, and her son and husband. Her son works there, which I thought was weird since it's a gay bar, and he's straight.

I was a bit of a wallflower, and I kept getting looks by the staff. I hope they didn't think I was up to something, I'm just really awkward in social settings, and don't know what to do with myself if I'm alone. Which is why I really wanted a friend to accompany me, at-least I would have had someone to talk to, and not look like a loner.

At one point, my co-workers friend Kerri was by the docks, and right over the edge of the water. My co-worker was worried she was going to fall in. Kerri replied, "Don't worry, I'm a mermaid!". Which I just thought was hysterical! 

Even though I didn't do much, It was nice to be there. Nice to be with my people! Sometimes I feel isolated, and or suffocated. Everyone I know is always straight, and I've had little exposure to lgbt people in the real world. (Since I don't get out much, most of the people I met have been through work)

Victor is my only LGBT friend, and he left me for Florida! (The nerve! jk)

It was nice to see so many guys hugging each other, or kissing, it was cute. But it also made me happy, that they could be themselves without persecution. Without being afraid of being discriminated against, gay bashed, or yelled at for being different. It made me really happy, and that thought that if by the miracle of the world... I could ever get a man, I would feel safe being there with him there.

I was a little alarmed that I saw more straight couples making out than gay, it felt kind of weird...

It's disappointing for people like me, who will find guys attractive, only to find out they're straight. So when going to a gay bar, and finding a couple of guys attractive, start making out with girls. It's disheartening... it's like, where are all the gay/bi guys that I am attracted too, it gets annoying sometimes. The point of a gay bar, is to meet lgbt people, not straight people, like what. I want to be attracted to gay/bi dudes for once, not straight guys. That already happens in a normal setting, the last thing I need is for it to happen at a gay club. (This happened when I went with Victor too..)

My co-workers friend said something that bothered me, she said that they couldn't talk about Trump there, because everyone there are trump haters.

Well no shit sherlock! Trump is taking lgbt people's rights away, it's bad enough he's already banned Transgendered people from the military, and now he's trying to allow lgbt people to be fired for being LGBT! He's scum! Of course we hate him, and we have every right to! It makes no sense that they can be disappointed that lgbt people are trump haters! How can we like someone who hates us because we exist?!

I didn't dance all that much, because even though I like to dance, I had terrible social anxiety. I didn't want to look like a loser dancing by myself, and I was also tired, and didn't know where I could dance since there were so many people.


My crippling anxiety did not allow me to make any new friends, there were a couple of cute guys there, and you bet your bottom dollar I didn't talk to them! Not only do I never know what to say, but I wouldn't even know where to start when talking to someone! I'm pretty sure one of the guys there I have on linkedin. lol

I have recently gotten into Lizzo, and was overjoyed to hear two of her songs play! One of them included "Boyz", which is one my favorites, as well as Rebeccas.

As mentioned before, I was mostly a wallflower. But It was still a nice experience! It really gave me time to think about how I need to learn to be more social, and really get out more. This entire summer I've been hanging out with my friends more, and just generally doing things I wouldn't normally do. 5 years ago, I would have NEVER done this. I would not have gone to fire island, let alone all by myself. I've really changed, and I want to keep changing. I need to get out more, I need to make more friends, and maybe get myself a man, or a sugar daddy that can pay off my student loans, either way really...

An hour before the last ferry got there, I went to where my co-worker and her friends were staying. It was nice to get to know them better, they're all fun people.

A few of them were staying there for the night, and a few weren't. I ended up going on the ferry with them, instead of being all alone like before.

I saw two guys kissing on the boat, and instead of turning into a yaoi fangurl like I usually do. It just gave me a fuzzy feeling inside, they're being their real selves without any repercussions. It made me think, although I don't mind being single, I still want that to happen to me someday. It warms my cold gay heart.

My outfit for the night

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This blog is currently being Re-written! Some things may need to be edited, or deleted. I'm also adding fancy new images to the site, that I've created!

¤

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Do closeted gay married men have no regard for their opposite sex partners?

 I just have one of those feelings, where I'm so annoyed, that I have to write so fast, that my keyboard is on fire, and my hands will spontaneously combust into dust, and I'll have to get replacement limbs from the dollar store!

 (Then proceeds to procrastinate on this post for an hour...)

So, I was on Quora, and I saw this question being asked.

"This straight wife was used and then murdered. Would you agree closeted gay men who marry women to hide their sexuality have no regard for the women they marry?" (Eventually the question was changed to "Some closeted men", which sounds a whole lot better.)

Link (The article)

Link to the Question

I answered,

I totally disagree with what you’re saying! Every person is different, so you can’t judge a person based off a similar event! This is why it drives me crazy when people just assume something for a whole group of people, Judge the person based off who they are, rather than what, they are.
What happened to that poor girl is terrible, and that guy is a nut-job! Nut-jobs are not defined by sexuality, and most of them are straight anyway. Did you hear about that dude who killed his whole family to be with some girl! (He was freaking gorgeous, I will admit. Why are all the hot guys taken, or serial killers! So typical! lol jk.)

Link  

There are plenty of women who married gay men unknowingly, who turned out alright... Which is as follows..

Not So Love Stories

¤ Let’s take Fran Drescher, she married a man when they were rather young. They broke up because her now ex husband, realized he was gay. This was over 20 years ago, and they’re still good friends to this day. They even made a show out of it called Happily Divorced. The characters divorce, but they still live together and go on dates with men. (I don’t remember for sure, it’s been a while) 

   Link

¤ Another example, is a more personal one. One of my managers from when I was in retail had the same thing happen to her! They had married, and when she was 3 months pregnant, her now ex realized he was gay. They did divorce, but they’re to this day, still best friends. He has a guy now, the sons best friend is gay, and she remarried (To this jerk, that she recently divorced, thank goodness, what an asshole! lol).
Funny thing though is, I realized she has no gay-dar whatsoever (Everyone else in the store figured out I was gay, except for her. lol) . So this could be a theme, that girls don’t know the guy is gay in the first place. (When I say that, I mean they are completely clueless to hints, such as a guy drooling over a half naked man, or something of the sort.) Obviously, things are changing since I've had crushes on feminine straight men before. So there’s not always a gay/straight/bi mold. But sometimes, you just know, or are completely clueless of someone’s sexuality.

The creator of the post responded to me, and said this.

"The link you shared about the man who killed his pregnant wife and his children his name is Chris Watts he was also having a homosexual affair at the time he murdered his whole family. This only furthers my claim that women are used and abused by some with an agenda."

(I found a link about it here. link )

This, is the part that annoys me so much.

First off, what agenda? What does that even mean? Are gay men trying to marry straight women so they can show off their amazing leg muscles, and act more superior? Are they trying to shove crocs in our faces?! Is that the agenda? The CROC AGENDA!! (I knew I couldn't trust them!! jk) 

I'd like to point something about the original article, with the main who killed the wife, to collect the insurance money, and be with a dude he met on Grindr. He killed her for the insurance money. However, this happens to everyone. In fact, that old Halloween myth about kids needing to be careful about poison in candy. It had to do with a man who killed his son by letting him have poison treats, just so he could collect his child's life insurance policy. Link

There are plenty of stories of straight men killing their wives, as well as themselves in some cases. The interesting thing I find, is when I looked up "Man kills wife", I found various stories of different straight men killing their wives.  Link 1 Link 2 Link 3
I also knew someone who was killed, because her husband was jealous that she liked her job, and thought she was having an affair. Link 10

But when I typed in gay man kills wife, I found almost the same stories about either the dude who killed his wife for the insurance money, or the other guy who killed his wife & kids, and was having an affair with a man, and a woman. Link 4 Link 5. As well as a terrible story about a dad who killed his wife, and his son for being gay (The son was gay, not the wife). Link 6

Which leads me to my next point. 

The reason why so many closeted gay people marry women, Is literally for the exact reason that poor guy was killed in Link 6, for being gay. For decades, centuries even, homosexuality has been frowned upon. On a daily basis, people are fired from jobs, bullied, beaten, kicked out, and even killed for being gay. Because of all the hate, and intolerance, many LGBT people are SUICIDAL! So many LGBT people take their lives every year because they can't take the hate they get from friends, family, and other people in their lives. LGB youth are 5 TIMES more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers. As well as 40% of Transgendered youth have considered/attempted suicide. Source
So with that being said, many closet cases could have a good reason to be in the closet, and marry a woman. They are afraid that their family will hate, or even try to hurt, or kill them, if they even say the word gay, let alone say they identify as it. Do I think they should marry a woman? No. Do I think they should tell the woman that he's gay, and just needs to make it look like he's straight? Only if she's okay with gay people, because if she's not, he'd probably just get outed by her, and she could be a dick about everything. 

The Trevor Project & The Try Guys team up.

¤ I'd also like to mention a friend of mine. My friend, T, was with a man for years and years, they had three kids. She always suspected he was gay, but to this day, she doesn't know if he is or not. (She said that he was never really interested in sex, and one time he went on a "boating trip" with a friend and she found blood on his pants, she thought maybe he had anal, and that happened in the process) They eventually divorced, and now she got married to a new man (Whom she is now also divorced from lol).

Anyways, one time T told me that if her ex is gay, his dad would probably kill him.
So this, once again, is another personal story. Where, although all speculation. It could be something serious, this man could be so afraid of his dad, or family, that he might be refusing to tell anyone, who he really is. (If he's actually gay/bi.)

The fact of the matter is, every story is different, every person is different. We can't judge every person in a similar situation, just because of one asshole! My friend Stephanie, broke her leg on a trampoline once. But you don't see her running around town screaming at people, saying not to go on trampolines, or you'll break your leg! (That would be kind of funny though.) 

My Account Got Deleted??

A few days ago, I made a Listography account. Some Twitter friends had one, and I was really interested in it. I figured this is perfect, I had plenty of lists on my old Zetaboards forum, that I could transfer over. Since Zetaboards closed down, and turned into Tapatalk. (Which deletes inactive sites after 30-90 days).

On Listography, I added a profile bio, an avatar (A drawing of mine.) I made one list of all my accounts on other sites, such as Deviantart, Twitter.. etc..
I had to go to bed for work the next morning, although I wanted to continue, I had to stop.

So fast forward a few days later, today. I was like, oh man, let me go look at my Listography, and add more to it! When I read "User not found". I was like huh? How can that be? There must be an error! I look around, maybe I'm on the wrong profile, I check my emails to see if there was something about account deletion. I find nothing.
I snoop around, and I find the Listography main page.

"Our spam detector automatically deletes suspicious accounts. To avoid deletion: MAKE introductory lists, DO NOT link to shady websites, DO NOT create multiple accounts, DO NOT create an account that is AD-like. Suspected spam accounts are deleted within one week and not retrievable."

I was like, are you kidding me?? I had a real bio, and all the sites I linked to, were Twitter, Deviantart, etc.. and not shady sites.. but somehow, their program must have picked it up, and deleted me! (There goes an hour of logging into my accounts, down the drain!)
At first I thought I'd make another one, but I thought, it could happen again, so I'd rather not. It's a shame, I really liked the way Listopgraphy had everything, but I'm not risking wasting my time for something that might get deleted again. This is just bad consumerism, if I'm using that in the right context.

Picture by me.

My advice for Listography, and any site that uses an automatic bot deletion program.

•  Hire volunteers to check out profiles, there are people who will do it for free. (Since it's made by people who made the site for fun, and not a company.)
Back in the old days of the early 2000's, there were plenty of people who volunteered their free time to help run websites,  I don't see why people wouldn't do that now. (Especially good for people wanting to get a marketing/social media job in the future, it could even count as job experience.)
If the bot detection program (BDP), spots a suspicious profile, a volunteer could check the profile out to see if it is a bot, or just a little innocent ol' me, just starting a new account. This gives real new users a chance to actually save their account, and redeem themselves.

The third twitter I ever made, is named Esmeralda'sdildo, which is based off a character I made. It was banned for two years, because  I was lazy and didn't do anything to save it. I sent them an email saying I was just a person using the account for a character, and they lifted the ban. The account got banned through their bot detection system, but at least it wasn't deleted!

• Get a bot verification program. You know when you log in/sign up for a site, and it asks if you're a bot, and makes you type in words/letters from a picture? "3d5h8s"

• Email accounts that get deleted. It should be easy enough to set a program up, that will at least email the user, saying their account was deleted. This way they aren't in the dark, like me.

Hopefully, there's another site that's similar, that doesn't have a program that just wipes things out. If not, I'll just continue to make lists on blogger, like I was doing in the first place!

Hypocritical People

So, with all of the Nike controversy nonsense going on. I'd like to chip in on my two cents! (Read my whole post, and I'll make it 3 cents!) At first this post will be about the Nike Controversy, but will delve into other similar situations!

Picture  by me

Nike

For those who don't know, or if you read this 20 years later. Nike is under fire, because it used an NFL player in it's ad. (From my understanding, this NFL player kneeled during the national anthem during a game, in order to protest against racism, and so now he's under fire. Although technically in America, with freedom of speech, so it's acceptable. But do your own research, and form your own opinion!)

Source

Due to this controversy, when people saw the Nike commercial involving this player, they were outraged. They decided to either cut off the Nike symbol on their Nike related items, or actually burn the materials! Most of the people outraged, are conservative leaning.

Twitter 

Now here's the irony, many conservatives have a long track record of complaining, whining, about liberals, and calling them snowflakes. However, when something as simple as a commercial, starring a dude they don't like shows up, they go bonkers and do something reckless (Initially making them look like fools). Instead of doing something destructive like this, that just wastes materials, they should do something more proactive. If they really care about the situation, they should have a level head and act like an adult and protest, or just don't buy Nike things anymore. Instead, they just act immature and cut, up and burn things.. kind of like having a tantrum almost. From my knowledge, liberals don't do this, they just boycott/protest and they're on their way.
Now yes, both sides of the table all have their crazies, and rational people, but the ones doing this are not very rational at all. So this does not mean EVERYONE, just various people are acting this way.
Also, by buying Nike products, to burn them, they're still supporting Nike, ironically.

Destroying materials, is also not good for other reasons as well.

1. These clothing items could be used, and given to homeless, or people in need.

Source

2. Imagine taking so much time to create something (A Nike worker, or any worker in general, creating the product), just to find out that someone cut it up, or burned it. Would you not be upset that your hard work was destroyed over something like that?!

3. Not only that, but it's a waste of materials too. The earth is running out of materials, maybe Nike's clothes don't contain those materials, but it's better if we leave things the way they are, and produce less waste!

4. In general, many items are created by the use of bugs, animals, maybe kids in sweatshops, and other things. Imagine ruining something made out of silk, do you know how many silkworms it takes to make one scarf? Because I don't remember, but I know it's many, and I'm pretty sure the poor things die in the end too. Put in perspective, how many people, or creatures it takes to make an item. I think about this way more than I should in any general way.

The interesting thing about this, is I see this theme frequently. 

Here's where we go into new territory. Yay!

• I used to have a girl on facebook, who would complain about liberals being snowflakes, but then when something pro-liberal happened she'd whine about the silliest things. She also said once about how she needs to move out of New York, and get away from it's "Liberal-Ness", and complain about how there wasn't straight pride...  (brb rolling my eyes.)

But because I don't remember much about what she said, I can't say much about her.

If you say, why isn't there straight pride? Don't. Read my post from 2014, this will guide you.

Why there is no straight pride

So the following are some hypocritical things that I've noticed from many conservatives. 

It's a known fact that most conservatives hate gay people, so you can probably guess what I'm about to say.

There are plenty of times, where gay people have been denied jobs, hotels, plane seats, and even cake, just for being gay. In fact, a very close friend of mine went on vacation a few years ago. He booked a one bed room, for him and his boyfriend. They gave him a two bed room, because they were homophobic, and refused to have two guys in the same bed! Well, jokes on them, they decided to sleep in one bed, and have fun in the other!

Such as the time an engaged couple came to buy a cake, the owner refused them a cake because it was "Against their beliefs", even though, when you open a shop, you're serving to EVERYONE. I worked retail for 5 years, and I always had a smile on my face and helped them out, even when people said things I disagreed with!

Baker refuses gay couple

This particular situation is even worse than you think, since the D-bag bakery owner leaked their personal information. So the couple gets hate mail, even after 3 years, and people even know where they live. Not only did they decide not to serve a customer, but they leaked private information, which is against the law!

Oh, and another one

When these, and other events happened. Many conservatives thought it was the funniest thing, and that people don't need to serve people, if they don't match with their religion.
So not only are they using religion to cause harm, and hate. But just being overall rude about the situation as well!

Here's where the hypocrisy starts.

Years later, a republican politician is kicked out of a restaurant for her views. Conservatives go wild, they're outraged!

Source

This is inherently, the same situation. I don't agree with you, or your views, so I won't serve you.

So when gay people are refused service, conservatives laughed at them, and think they deserve it. But when a member of their party is kicked out, it's the worst thing imaginable. It's absolutely hypocritical.

I see this stuff all the time, and half of the time it's not political, just well hypocritical! That should be the name of a song, or something.. hm..

Here's another lgbt related one, as you may or may not know. LGBTQIA people are often hated, and attacked. We need safe spaces, where we can be safe, and talk about our mixed tapes!
In many countries, it's illegal to be gay, you can be arrested, badly hurt, or even killed. So places like these are very important! Especially when most people who commit suicide are young LGBT teens, just knowing there's a place you belong can mean everything!

That's where irony like this comes in.

Source

"Can only imagine the discriminated outrage if a Hotel had a •Straight Only policy"

Yeah, I mean it's not like you can get killed for being gay, or anything.....

Picture by me

On a Side Note

Conservatives got mad at Starbucks, for having a red cup, instead of a cup that says Merry Christmas...

These people feel entitled to their religion, and don't see that other people have different religions. Which is why Starbucks did this, since they are a public company. They didn't want to shove a holiday in everyone's face, that not everyone believes in.
Conservatives thought they'd purchase a coffee from Starbucks, and write Merry Christmas on it... Well, you just gave them money, so you're still supporting them, instead of "Showing Them Who's boss!".

Hypocrites in Games! 

This annoys me quite a bit! In Video Games, the girl characters have their boobs hanging out, and the male characters are all fully clothed.
The second a male character is wearing revealing clothing, or there's a gay male character "It's Too political".
In the post below, they complain about Social Justice Warriors, having their way and having girl characters wear actual clothing for once. I mean, it's not like us guys, and girls had to deal with girl characters having their boobs flop everywhere for decades or anything. (brb rollin' my eyes to mexico.)

My comment

"This is hilarious, us guys and girls not into women have had to deal with boobs in our faces for decades, and now that some characters are less revealed, they're whining like little babies. Then the second there's a half naked dude, they complain about "how political!" HILARIOUS!"

My post

Heterosexual men, who play games drool over all the half naked girl characters, or lesbian characters. But when a guy is sexualized, or is gay, they lose their crap. Its not a cool double standard, and hypocritical!

Obviously, there are good and bad people in every situation, so it won't apply to everyone, and it's not about everyone, just the big complainers of the world! lol