Retail Stories: She thought that was real?!

Let's lighten up the mood, and share some of the funny stories about my retail experiences!

"OOOOHHHH SHINY!"

"Sometimes customers see my watch, and get all excited. They're like, "Oh, is that the new Iphone watch?! That is so cool!".
I'm like, it's a 7 dollar watch I got off of EBAY, that flashes different colors.
But seriously, do you really think I'd be working retail, if I could easily spend 600-1000 dollars on a smart watch?!

I've had people look at me like I had four heads, because they assumed it was a smart watch, and it wasn't.

I'd like to make a purchase with my CardMaster Debit card!

A co-worker of mine brought this to the security guy, thinking it was someones actual card...
She's uh, not all there...

Paint your heart out girls!

This lady wanted a painting so she calls the store, asking if we still have this painting she saw yesterday. She was really vague about it, and said it was a bunch of yellow, and gold flowers, she didn't remember the price or anything else. I told her the descriptions of three yellow flower paintings, and one of them was the one she liked. So she thanks me, and says she'll come in to get it. Meanwhile the store is closing in 2 hours. She asks me for my name, so I said my name is James. So an hour later, this woman stops me on the floor. She asks me if "Jane" is working, and coincidentally, we do have a Jane, and she is working! So I told her yeah, Jane is a cashier, she has blonde hair...etc So I think nothing of it, and then a moment later, when I saw the lady near the paintings. It hit me.. Everyone always thinks I'm a girl on the phone, so this lady probably thought I said my name was Jane, and didn't realize I wasn't a girl. So I was like, that's going to be a doozy! An hour later, I'm telling  my friend Stephanie, that everyone thinks I'm a girl on the phone, and that the customer must have thought I was a woman. Jane was there, and she was telling us that the customer started to thank her for finding the painting! Jane, not knowing what was going on, said that she didn't do anything with a painting, and that she must have meant James. Then I told Stephanie about the time this lady called on the phone, asking for girls dresses. She came in later, found me, and was complaining to me about the "girl" (me) on the phone, saying we didn't have girls dresses, when we did. She just didn't like the selection.

 

Keywords: Why retail is the worst job, Who are retail customers?, Why retail jobs are bad, Retail is hard, Retail Experience, Retail Examples, Retail Industry, Retail Sector, Retail Times, Retail Workers. 

What a ding dong doozy of a day!

This was a ding dong doozy of a day!

Before I start off, I'm going to list some names of important people here.

• Stephanie, Stacy, Evan, Ethan and Jaime, are all friends of mine. These are their real names. As for the following people, I will be giving the rest fake names for privacy purposes!

Eric = A crush I had in 2015, the same person from this post. Link
Scott (Scottie)= The crush I have in this post.
I have had a crush on two guys named Eric, and they were hot. So why not rename this crush Eric for now. I think Scott is a hot name as well, that's why I'm choosing it as a fake name.

So there's this guy at work, "Scottie". I've been crushing on for three months, problem is, he doesn't talk much. I have no idea if he's gay, straight, bi, asexual.. etc... He's a cashier, and has some feminine mannerisms. It's like he does project runway poses, as he waits for the customer to make their purchase. That's the only possible sign he might be gay, but we're also in a society where straight guys are starting to get in touch with their feminine side as well.
I had come up with a solution on how to find out if he's gay, or not. I ask him if he has ever considered becoming a model, then say, not only are you hot, but you have the look! If, by chance he goes "You think I'm hot?", I could say, hell yeah, if I didn't think you were straight, I'd go for you. This way, it's a compliment, and it doesn't go too far. So my entire day at work, was me thinking about this, getting ready for action. Problem is, he's a cashier, so I can't just tell him that, and not like I'm going to ask him this in front of other people, customers, associates.. etc.. So I had to get him at a time where he was alone, like if he's going on break etc....

However, my mission failed when Jaime told me, he asked the Scottie if he was gay. Scottie replied "PSH no, are you?", the Jaime said he's "very gay". But the problem is, Jaime, is not very reliable. He even told me he wanted to trick me by saying that Scottie was gay (So I could make a fool of myself, which I wouldn't have, because I'm not that assertive!) So I asked my home-girl Stephanie, if what Jaime said was true. (She was there when Jaime asked the question) She said he asked Scottie, if he was going to see a movie on Friday. So, either Stephanie didn't hear when Jaime asked, or he never asked at all, and was being an ass. So, my friend Stacy, and I have been trying to figure out if my crush is gay! She's like, If I see him, I'll ask him if he's gay, and I'll say one of the guys was interested.. etc.. She said "I didn't want him thinking this old broad wants him". So Stacy and I are talking about this, she says  "I'll ask him when I see him".
Later on, she  was talking to Stephanie, and tells her to ask my crush, what he's getting his girlfriend for christmas... etc.. Later on, I'm in the break room, and Scottie is talking to an employee in the break room. When my crush left, I turned to the guy, I was like, do you know him? As they seemed more than just saying hi. He was like, oh yeah, my girlfriend knows him. I  thought, I have an inside source now, maybe I can find out myself? So I ask the guy, can I ask you a question? Do you know if he's straight? The guy goes, "It's okay to ask that, but you know what, I never thought about it, I don't know. I was like got damnit, right where I started! Meanwhile, 5 years ago, I would never have had the balls to ask someone I barely know, if another person is gay or straight. lol
As I'm on my break, Stacy comes in, and she's getting mad at me. She says "He thinks I'm some weird old lady, and giving me weird looks!" I had no idea what she was talking about. Eventually, she told me that she was talking to Stephanie, asking her if Scottie is gay. Well apparently, when Scottie was going to the break room, Stacy and Stephanie were talking to each other, asking if my crush was gay. They think he heard them, hence the funny looks. Stacy's like, god dammit, now he thinks I'm some old lady that wants him! Do you mind if I ask him if he's gay, and just say, you were interested, and wanted to know, that's all. I was like, that's fine, I don't mind if he knows I find him attractive.

Well, a week later we found out. Stephanie asked him what he was going to get his girlfriend for Christmas, and he said that he had been single for a while, and just got a girlfriend recently. So I never got to say that good model line, because I kept missing him on his breaks! It's hard to talk to a cashier in private...

My heart after crushing on another guy who ends up being straight!

It makes me wonder why do I only seem to find straight men attractive, but why do I like guys that conceal their personal lives? The guy from two years ago, "Eric" was a friendly person, we had similar interests. However, I didn't know what he liked, until one of my friends told me he mentioned his girlfriend (Two months later!). Which was really strange, as I seemed to have been the only one that didn't know he had a girlfriend.
This time, the guy was very shy, so I didn't know much about him. Better yet, mostly everyone at work knows almost nothing about him.

 Here's where it gets weird...

The guy I liked from two years ago, was named "Eric". The guy I liked this time is named "Scott". Eric's facebook name was "Eric Scott".

It gets even more strange.

When I was into Eric, my friend Evan, who I worked with. Liked one of the girls at work as well, so we both liked someone at the same time. Coincidentally, our crushes, didn't like us back.
This time around, with Scott, I'm friends with a guy named Ethan, who also liked a girl at work. Ethan is 8 years younger than the girl at work that he likes, while I'm 8 years older than the guy I liked. Ethan gave up on the girl he liked, and basically that's what I was thinking of doing too.
Also, Evan and Ethan both work/ed in the men's department, and are/were back up cashiers.

When they say history repeats itself, they aren't kidding!

If this is supposed to mean something in the supernatural world, I have no idea what the universe is saying!

Follow the rest of my Crush Arc

• Don't Block The VENTilation • So Much Wasted Time • Ding Dong Doozy Of A Day! •

Retail Stories: You won't believe how rude they were to me!

I have too many Nasty Customer stories, and not enough soap! What. Anyways, here's the next one, because I'm a mess and have no time for anything anymore!
I think the funniest thing about retail, is that these crazy customers have no idea that retail associates all over the world talk smack about them after they leave!

HEY YOU, YEAH, YOU!  

I had a guy who was calling out for me, but I didn't realize it. Later on, I was talking to an employee and the man was screaming for me, and I came over and he said "CAN YOU HEAR?"! I said I don't' have good hearing. (Which is true, I've had hearing problems since I was like 4) The guy was obnoxious, he wanted a shoe horn, which we didn't have. I said, we have the little socks you can try on, but he specifically wanted the shoe horn! He also called it something else, but I forgot what it was.
At the end, the guy actually said thank you to me, which I was shocked. He came in the next day, but wasn't an obnoxious turd.

I only get the finest fabrics in my exact size, KNAVE! 

So this old hag comes up to me, and asks if we have a coat in a larger size. I look into the computer to see if we have it, and we don't. So I find the lady, and I tell her this is the only size we have it in. I ask her, do you still want this coat? She goes, "NO STUPID! IT'S not my size!" I immediately walked away, because if I had to talk to this bitch again, I was going to go off on her. Usually, when the size isn't right, especially for a coat, the customer will take it anyways, because they really like the item.
Later on, one of my coworkers rang her up. I asked him if she was a bitch to him, and he said she looked like she didn't want to be there.

Oh I'm just a grill, living in a lonely world...

So this lady wanted a price on a dog bed, and the price was actually right there on the tag that tells you how to wash/care for it. So I was like whatever, this lady is clearly as dumb as a block of wood. I noticed she had a shirt on that said "Company Name" bar and grill, which is the place my sister used to work at 2 years ago. So ten minutes later, I get called up for a price, It's the dog bed lady! She wanted to know the price for another dog bed, she was also getting the other one that had a price. So I go and get a price and I got something similar, same size to use as the price. I go up and she starts screaming at me, she's screaming, that's not the same bed!! That's a different bed! You're trying to rip me off! (I didn't even show her the price yet! ) I told her, what we do is we get something similar, and I even said that this was the lowest price for dog beds (12.99). She was screaming, and she said she didn't want it anymore. So I was like whatever, and walked away as I muttered bitch under my breath. My sister was coming in soon, so I wanted to ask her who she is. Apparently a crazy Spanish lady with a pony tail, and glasses isn't descriptive enough... She said there's two restaurants so she may not know the lady. I thought of going there so I can be an ass to that bitch, unless she just wears the shirt for kicks. My friend Tina rung her up, and said the lady was weird, and she kept telling Tina to take off items that she didn't even ring up yet! lol

Keywords: Why retail is the worst job, Who are retail customers?, Why retail jobs are bad, Retail is hard, Retail Experience, Retail Examples, Retail Industry, Retail Sector, Retail Times, Retail Workers.

Sassy female characters in Video Games

Lily from Everwing

What I really enjoy from Video Games, are female characters who are strong, sassy, and don't care about what others think about them. They're the kind that can go through an army without a scratch on them, then as they turn around to all the sorry chumps they have defeated, they just say something along the lines of

"It's not my fault you were defeated, you were just in the way!" "Maybe you, should get a better hobby!"

 or 

 "You over there! The 80's called, they want their hairdo back!".

"Get to close to the sun, and you're gonna burn!" - Ashe, Overwatch.

Not an ounce of the "Clucks" can be given, these characters just do what they want, and I love them for it. Nothing will get in their way, and at this point in time they do what they want, when they want, and that's all that really matters.

Lily, from Everwing

In game picture

"A wise, investment." "Out of my way!" "Perfection!" "This, can't, be! (When defeated)"

Lily is that stereotypical RPG type character that doubles your money when you play as her. What can I say, she's a busy girl, and all she cares about, is the money hunny. Sometimes, that's all you can do. Lily is not there to humor your feelings, she's got things to do, places to be, and bitches to shank! Now that I think of it, she's more arrogant, than sassy. But I like her sense of putting her needs first (Always remember, self care first!).

Sombra, from Overwatch.

"Where's the fun in playing fair?!"  "I'd love to stay and chat, but, I'm not going to!" "You Trying to be scary?" "You're just a glitch in the system"

Sombra is one of the best hackers in the Overwatch universe, and has one of the most powerful , and underrated abilities in the game. (She can hack an enemy, and temporarily disable their special abilities).

Sombra is on a mission, she's discovered a big dark secret. Whoever is behind this secret, found out, and tried to get rid of her. Due to these events, she had to become someone else, something else....(Batman!)
She has joined the forces of the criminal organization Talon, but what are her real motives for joining? (As of 2019, it's heavily hinted that Sombra may in fact be a double agent. Working for the bad guys, but secretly, may be working for the good guys.)

Sombra is rather playful in her interactions with other characters, but she also is incredibly sassy! Which is why she's my favorite Overwatch character. 

Retail Stories: Nasty Customers PT 2

The reason why I post so many retail stories is because, I don't got a lick O' time to do things anymore, or the energy for it. Retail stories are easy because I've already complained to my friends about what unfathomable heathens I've had to deal with at work, so I already wrote the essay in advanced. Once I get a normal 9-5 job, I'd probably have more time for this blog! Also it's three minutes before September, and I've been slacking on blogs lately. I want to at-least post one post a month.

Picture by Me.

Here's my current Anime recommendations!

Monochrome Factor, Nabari No Ou, Servamp and Nanbaka. Shiki, as well, but only if you have no soul....(That one is gruesome!)

Nasty Customers PT 2

Crazy not so bag lady

Picture it, Christmas time in 2014. There was a long line of like 10-20 people, and only 2-3 cashiers. I went to get more shopping bags to use. This lady on line yells at me for refilling the bags! I was thinking to myself, if I get this beach, she is not getting any bags! Like it makes no sense to me, how am I going to ring people up if I don't have bags?!

Can you hear me now? 

I was in my department, and this lady was talking three aisles down. I brushed it off because I didn't know she was talking to me, and thought she was talking to a friend. Keep in mind, she was a million aisles away, how would I have known she was talking to me. She comes over and says, "Can you hear?!". I told her I have hearing problems. Instead of attempting to talk to me at a normal distance, she decided she wanted to talk to me all the way from Narnia, why doesn't she actually come up to me like a normal person??
She should know it's rude to talk to someone so far away, especially since she did not say excuse me.. How do I know you're not just talking to someone else? At least have the common courtesy to come over to me at talking distance.

Clap your hands if you're a cuckoo bird!

Another time I was doing an item return, and when I scanned both the receipt and the item, the computer said the item's number didn't match. I told the customer that the item was a different number, and asked if she had any other receipts. She started to flip out on me! She was screaming, and she said, THAT HAS TO BE THE RECEIPT!! THIS RECEIPT AND THE SHIRT WERE PURCHASED AT THE SAME TIME!!! I said that the sku numbers do not match, I showed her that the receipt numbers ended with, for example, 97, but the shirt was 89. So obviously the numbers were wrong. But because the items on the receipt and the shirt were both 16.99$, she didn't realize the numbers might not match up, to her it was the same. She screams, "THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED, EVERY TIME I COME HERE THE NUMBERS NEVER MATCH!!!"
I was like OH geez, my lucky day, I get a psycho today. I asked if maybe if she did the purchase on her card, which we could look up to see if she bought it with the card. Spoiler alert, it wasn't. Then I asked for her phone number, which would also record the purchase, however it wasn't there either. Then she started screaming at me again about how she always comes here, and this always happens. I told her to her face, I've been there for four years and I've never seen this happen! (Chances are, this lady is at fault, and is just being a beach to get her way). She wanted a manager, so I went over to the two supervisors, and asked them which one of them wanted to deal with the psycho. The customer that one of them was ringing up, thought it was funny I said that. One supervisor said she already had three people yell at her, so the other one went. We ended up just returning the item from the receipt and that we would do it this one time. The funniest thing however, is that this would have been easier to deal with if she wasn't a psycho. If she wasn't acting like a nut, I would have probably just returned it easily without asking for the supervisor. But she had to act like a psychopath who belongs in a mental facility!

Is it possible that people are just really stupid, and crazy, because I think they are...

I generally save my stories, and post them for a rainy day. I have plenty more to come! The last two happened a year ago already, the first one was like 3 years ago.. wow! 

Keywords: Why retail is the worst job, Who are retail customers?, Why retail jobs are bad, Retail is hard, Retail Experience, Retail Examples, Retail Industry, Retail Sector, Retail Times, Retail Workers.