My friend Jaime is a strange creature

When I worked retail, we had a peculiar fellow named Jaime. He was a strange person who would say weird things like "Feed me hangers!", or "Well, I'm here, but in reality, I'm in Narnia trying to find Jack Bauers daughter!".

He's really weird and he says weird things to be funny, but back in 2016, he started to say some things that made me believe he was into me. (To this day I wonder...) I'm not into him, and he really needs to take a shower! No seriously, customers would complain that he smells bad. (This wasn't an issue once he stopped working there and I think it's because at the time, he had two retail jobs.)

Once he knew I was gay, that's when he started to get weirder than weird!

One time, he rang up a guy who I thought was cute. I told him I was sooo jealous he got to ring up the hot guy, in which his reply was "I didn't think he was that hot!".

But at the same time, this could have just been him being a weirdo.

His first weird comment towards me was when I was going home, and I was saying bye to him.. he said "Are you here to put your dick in my ass?", I told him, I have standards!

 Jaime: Are you here to put your dick in my ass?

Me: I have standards!

My depiction of Jaime if he was a Zombie.

Then maybe a week later, we were starting work at the same time, and he looks at me in the break room and goes "So, do you want to make love?". I said no, I'm good.

The next week he said the same thing, but instead said "So, you wanna have sex?".
In which I declined.. and at first I just thought he was playing around and being weird... but since it was becoming more repetitive, it really made me start to wonder...

Another time, he was walking around near my department (Because our departments are next to each other. I was Home, he was Mens.)
He's just saying "Fuck me", in like an innocent, cutesy voice..in which I said, "You know, I'm really starting to wonder about you.." and he said "Me too".

Jaime: Fuck me.
Me: You know I'm really starting to wonder about you!
Jaime: Me too...

Another time, the tv was on in the break room and Joe Manginello was on, and they said something about a boyfriend on tv. Jaime said he wishes he had a boyfriend, I said he doesn't have a chance with either gender (I'm just that bitch) He said "I just don't have the time!" (He does work two jobs and gets 3 hours of sleep so.. But the way he said it was very serious.)

The following week, I had to get a price on a Mens item, which was his department. When I was walking to the Mens dept. I saw him, and I was like, oh great! He'll know what the price is, so as I'm walking towards him, he has his arms out as if he was coming to hug me. When I came closer to him, I pushed the Mens jacket into him and said, I need a price for this. In which he said "Aww", in a disappointed way, as if I really was going to hug him??

Later that day, I was talking to him and I made a comment, in which his response was

"It's okay James, I still love you!". I was like okayyyyyy...

Some time after, I was leaving and I was talking to him and I called him "irrelevant" , in which he responded by saying that I really know how to hurt someone's feelings, and that I must have gotten an orgasm for "hurting" his feelings.

I said, that I am a sadist, and that I love it when men cry. In which he proceeded to fake cry right in front of me!!

I was like what is up with this boy?! I was telling some of the girls about his antics and now we're all getting a bit curious what the hell is he, like what's his sexuality?!

My one friend Christina, made a facebook status about how her "great boyfriend" made chili.
In which he replied "I wish I had a great boyfriend. I love chili."

One time, I had the hiccups...

I was all the way in the back of the store, in the receiving area, I saw him walking in and I told him I had the hiccups. I didn't want to freak him out with a weird noise, he told me I sounded like a dog.
Later that day, I was talking to him, and he tried to scare the hiccups out of me, which didn't work. But he then told me that I sounded cute, like a "pup".

I was like whatever...

Later on, I was talking to him again and I still had those hiccups (Ironically, they went away the second I walked out of the building.)

So, I was still hiccuping, and he said "You sound so cute, you're cute!!"
I was just like... oh boy...

• One time, I showed him a giant mickey mouse doll, and he started to hump it. I told him not to do that if there were any customers around!

• The girls had been telling me that lately, he's been saying he wants a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
But when my one friend Lena, asked him what he was.. he said he was asexual.. which is weird since he is clearly a being who is aroused by one or more genders (or at-least pretending to be one).

☼ The biggest kicker was when my friend Stephanie and I saw Donna last week... Donna did an spiritual awakening on us.. and she said that I either like someone, or someone likes me.. and I looked at Stephanie, and I was like.. I wonder who!!! How weird is that! I hadn't talked to Donna about Jaime and I didn't like anyone at the time, so there isn't a way she would have known.

Like if it was just one thing here and there, I could see him just playing around.. but he seems to just keep going on and the flirting is getting stronger...

• A week ago (From when I originally started this post in 2016), he was talking about movies and how he's going to go and see a movie.. and he asked me what I was doing when I get home, I told him I was going to watch the Flash, and he went "Oh", in a disappointed, but "whatever" kind of way.

What's going on here?!

 

After 2016, he stopped flirting with me and he even went through a phase where he was really mean to everyone and made one of the managers cry. 

He has stated that he knows his sexuality, but doesn't want anyone to know and I will respect that, plus it's fun to know someone who is sexually ambiguous. There are times where I think he's straight, gay, bi, asexual, whatever. But we'll just never know!

Looking back at it from 2021, I probably could have gotten him fired for sexual harassment if I had wanted to. lol

Luckily for him, not too much bothers me!

So what do you think? Was Jaime really into me? Was it all a lie? Should I show Jaime this blog post so that he could bully me within an inch of my life!? Who can ever be sure!

(I actually did send him this blog post and the only thing he said was that I was a really good writer. lol)