I'm the physical embodiment of a Japanese Highschool Girl Part 5

 Well, Well, Well, if it isn't part three of this ridiculous saga of me breaking my own heart by crushing on guys I have no idea if they're single and into dudes.

We're here YET AGAIN!!!

Sometimes I wish I was asexual, I could just enjoy life instead of getting my heart broken into pieces. 

So it all started in June 2022, my friend Chey and I went to a Crystal store. As we were about to leave, I saw this absolutely stunning ginger wearing a mask. I was like, whoooo is thattt? We kept eying each other, and we were both wearing masks!!!

I did some Instagram stalking for the company and found out who this guy was and saw he hosts events there. So me and my good judy Donna, started going to his events! At first, it wasn't working out and I thought, oh it's just some cute guy, a dime a dozen. 

But then, I went to a psychic fair and just wanted to go to the booths. The second I got out of my car, the psychics face was in my head. This meant I needed to see her! So I saw the psychic who was telling me things I didn't tell her. She said that this guy is my "twin flame" and I need to pursue him and how I made an impact on him without knowing it. 

This time, it was very obvious that he is LGBT.

Here's where things get weird.... AGAIN....

Like the second Ace, he's a ginger and like Scotty, he's about 8 years younger than me. 

1. We have the same birthday, December 20th.
2. We both have a red phone and hate the cold weather.
3. We're both artists who are also into spiritual stuff.
4. He is more of a listener and isn't great at disengaging a conversation. 

When I say, there were so many signs this was supposed to happen, I mean it! From seeing heart shaped clouds in the sky when thinking about him, to doing pick a card tarot readings that were all saying the same thing! I just kept seeing signs.

I figured since I was starting to get on the right path, both spirtually and career wise, I thought that for once things were going to go right and that it was just a matter of time!

Unfortunately, that didn't last.

It took a while, but me and Donna were getting him out of his shell. He was clearly very guarded, but he started getting comfortable around us.

One day, we both went in for his session and I got this strange vibe. Something was off.

So the last time I saw him, I gave him a present because I felt he needed it. I can tell when a crystal is calling someone so I got him one. I also put in a Saggitarius bracelet. So that day, he gave me the Saggitarius bracelet back and said thank you for giving it to him, but he doesn't wear bracelets. I got a weird vibe from the interaction as well. 

At some point, he mentioned he had a partner and I was distraught. I was shocked! Like this didn't make any sense, the signs were all saying it would be happening eventually.

I was stunned, just stunned. Now I'm confused!!

It's like why does this happen, I always end up liking a guy and he always ends up being straight and the one time I like someone who's queer and he's unavailable!! I don't get it!!! 

So here's the thing, that day, me and Chey went to the crystal store and saw him. We were supposed to go somewhere completely different but Donna told us go to this store. If it wasn't for us going there on that day, we wouldn't have seen the ginger and we probably wouldn't have gone back to this place!

I thought that this was some sort of divine timing, like I wasn't looking for a boyfriend and then bam, who is this?! We weren't even going to go there and yet we ended up there and if it wasn't for knowing Chey, I probably would have just gone there one time with Donna the previous week and that's it, never again. After going there, we found another Crystal store that has more events so we kind of gravitate towards that one now.

1. Everyone always has a 2 or 8 year difference from me. 

Why do the guys I have crushes on, end up being very Similar, but different from each other?

I'm noticing something strange about the guys I've had crushes on, some had weird similarities. But at the same time, they've also been very different circumstances.

Obviously for privacy, I will be changing the names of the people involved. 

 

Something interesting I've noticed is, every guy I've had a crush on was either 2 years younger or older than me, or 8 years younger or older than me.

gghfg

dfgf

2015: "Ace 1" The first big crush I had was in 2015, a security guard that I worked with

. Who I didn't find attractive until I shook his hand. Afterwards, I felt like I was high all the time. I couldn't stop thinking about him, when I was around him, I felt like nothing could go wrong! It was the wildest thing I ever experienced. When I found out he was straight and had a girlfriend. I WAS DEVESTATED, I was literally depressed for 4 days and I really do think I was experiencing heartbreak, despite ever being with him.

It took me almost two years to fully get over him. I KNEW HIM FOR TWO MONTHS!!

Notable Features: He was 2 years younger than me, bald by choice, had nice muscles, and a Criminal Justice Major. Has the same name as other guys I unintentionally ended up liking later on, who had similar descriptions.

2017: "Scotty" - Was this quiet guy I worked with who I had a crush on just because I didn't have a crush on anyone, and I for some reason felt the need to crush on someone. I just thought he was cute, but the more I worked with him, the more I developed a crush on him. 

Eventually, I realized he reminded me of my brother, and I pretty much lost all attraction to him. lol

Notable Features: He was about 8 years younger than me, my gawd, am I a cougar?! lol (I was 27 and he was 19)

2018: "Second Ace",  This guy worked in another department of a job I had. I believe I had passed by him before, but I didn't "notice" him until the company had a party, where I got to see him close up. I never did get to talk to him, but for some reason, he was ALWAYS on my mind. He made me feel similar to the first Ace, where I had this feeling of being high when I saw him. 

In this case, I am 95% sure he was actually gay. Also, he was a ginger, and most male gingers are gay. I don't make the rules, I just abide by them.

Notable Features: He was approximately, also two years younger than me, a CJ major and the first Ginger guy I had a crush on.

2019: "Davey", who to this day, is the only guy I had a crush on that I became friends with. I knew he was straight from the beginning, but I still developed a crush on him. It was hard not to, he is literally the sweetest guy I've ever met, he's such a good person that it's hard not to, he also has such a cute laugh. I will say, there were certain things that did make me question his sexuality, so some of it was, wait, is he really straight?! One of the ladies I worked with even said there's something else there. But it wasn't for me to discover anyways.

My crush on him did fluctuate and it did go away at times. Everyone likes the bad boys, but I like the sweet guys. Honestly, I think I really was falling for him. If this man came out of no where, got on one knee and proposed to me, I'd say yes.

Nearing the end of working with him, I started to get high off working with him. He just made me feel so good! One time, I asked if he wanted to hang out, and he rejected me. Similarly to the first Ace, I got a bit of heartbreak because of it. 

Shortly after, I got a new job. We're basically pen pals since he doesn't want to hang out, but I also understand that he has a kid.

Notable Features: He happens to be two years older than me, certain things about him reminded me of the first Ace.

2019: Ace 3, who I worked with alongside Davey. He was the son of the owner of the job I worked for. Probably the sexiest man I've ever met in my entire life! Oh my god, that man could have his way with me any day of the week! He is however, a complete idiot and a jerk off. lol

Notable Features: Also named Ace, Bald, and had nice muscles like the first Ace. His department was the Drug and Alcohol Testing department, so in a way, he was the Criminal Justtice section like the previous two Aces. (He was about 8 years older than me, I was 29-31, he was 37-40)

2021: Rowan: Was another guy I worked with, I didn't really pay any attention to him until he shaved his really ugly beard off. It made me think about that Spongebob meme, where Squidward goes "OH NO!!! HES HOTT!!!!".

I rarely saw him, but there were a few times where I daydreamed about him and was able to feel this feeling of "High", that some of the previous guys made me feel.

After that, I was like helllloooo sirrrr. He worked the warehouse, but always came in with a designer jacket and button up shirt. He cleaned up super nice! He was also a sweetheart too, he would bake cupcakes for everyone in the office and other similar things. He had such an adorable laugh as well.

Notable Features: He was about 2 years younger than me as well!

2022: Gael - This guy that I made eye contact with at a store, I felt like it was mutual and I knew he worked there so I looked up the store's instagram and found out he does classes there. So I signed me and my friend up! lol

The week before his class, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was wild. But when the class finally came, I was confused, I was like wait, am I attracted to him? He is absolutely adorable and very clearly gay! lol

Notable Features: He's a Ginger like the second Ace and the same age as Scotty.

2022: Basil - I started a new job and everyone is old and then you have this BEEFCAKE who wears tight clothing and has muscles for daysssss. Sweet baby jesus, is he delicious!

Notable Features:Clearly much older than me, very similar vibes to the third Ace. Who was HOTTTTTTT. Except this guy seems like a decent dude. Also, they both have ameezing rump roasts, if you get what I meannnn ;)

• For the First two Aces, Scotty, Davey, Rowan and Gael, I was not attracted to them right away. My attraction to them grew over time.

The only ones I thought were hot off the bat was Ace 3 and Basil

The Crush Saga! - I truly am the Physical Embodiment of a High School Girl

 Here's me being a hopeless romantic idiot, who falls for every cute guy that just so happens to be straight or with someone. My dumb ass can't seem to not have a crush on them before I know if they're Single and LGBT. 

I swear I break my own heart sometimes. These boys broke my heart by just existing and they didn't even do nothin'! 

Everytime I think I've met "The One", they're either named Ace, or a Ginger.

I'm the Physical Embodiment of a Japanese Highschool girl 

Prologue:

Don't block the VENTilation
So Much Wasted Time

Part 1
Part 2
What a Ding Dong Doozy of a Day!
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8 

Epilogue 

Why do the guys I have crushes on, end up being very Similar, but also very different?

Why I don't like Christmas

I can't say I'm a big fan of Christmas

Here are my reasons why I don't care for Christmas

1. I worked Retail!

Working in retail Full-Time for 5 years and Part-Time for 3, made me really hate the holiday!

People are 10x nastier, messier, rude and ridiculous during the Holidays. What is supposed to be such a "Wonderful time of the year", becomes such a "Nightmare time of the year". People love to show how awful they are to Customer Service Employees, especially during the holidays.

I was rarely ever cursed out during the normal season, but around the holidays, I was never shy of being cursed out just for telling people the carts didn't go outside, or called stupid just because I asked the lady if she still wanted the item, even though it was a bit different in size. (Usually people buy the item because they like it so much, even if it's a little bigger.)

 

For my retail escapades, check out my Retail Stories tag. 

https://hotspotsportal.blogspot.com/search/label/Retail%20Stories

2. My birthday is near Christmas - This means that when I ask people to go out with me for my birthday, they can't make it because....

A. Their family is in town and they can't hang out.

B. They work retail and are working.

C. They're broke because they spent money for Christmas presents and don't have money left to do anything. 

 

It's safe to say I don't usually get to hang out with friends for my birthday! Which makes it such a drag!

3. It's all about the presents

• Christmas, like many holidays, is supposed to be about Family. But people seem to like it just because of the presents, which seems rather greedy and superficial.  

• Look at how crazy people get just because they want a gift for their dearly beloved and how people have LITERALLY DIED trying to shop on Black Friday.

At-least with Halloween, it's just about having fun and dressing up! etc..

 

4. It Over-Shadows other holidays

• It drives me nuts when people gloat about how "amazing" Christmas is and how they start playing Christmas themed music in August. They get so into Christmas, that they don't care about other Holidays like Halloween (Clearly, the best Holiday of all time!) Obviously it's fine to like a holiday, but talking about it so often just comes off weird and annoying. Like I don't want to think about Christmas, or cold weather, when I'm enjoying a nice warm day in August.

5. It makes me feel bad about Thanksgiving! 

• Thanksgiving gets the short end of the stick! Once Halloween is over, it's all of a sudden, Christmas season, which is super rude.

6. I'm just over it

• You know when you've watched a TV show for the 80th time, or you have 1000 hours in a Video Game and you're just bored of it? That's how I feel about Christmas. I'm just over it, I've done it 31 years and I'm good, like give me something new and different!

 

Why Patriotism is weird

Let's get this out of the way,

A country is just a place you live in, like that's all it really is...

I don't get why people are super patriotic. It's like if you found an island and started praying that you love this island so much and everyone that has a problem with your island is an enemy, it's just a weird mindset to get into!

It's just a bunch of land, like that's all it is!

I also don't get people who can like a country, but have so many issues with it's laws.  It's rather counterproductive, like if you have a problem with laws, then you can't love the country!

My take 

People who are very patriotic (or religious for that matter) to the point that the only conversation they can hold is about their country (& or Religion), are boring and have no personality. (That's on periodt.) I've met and worked with plenty of people like this and they were so boring! (And rude for that matter) They had nothing interesting to talk about and were very nasty and hateful in general. No one liked them because they were such an awful person.

Also

America in particular, should not have "In God We Trust", or having god in the pledge of allegiance, since the country was literally founded on "Freedom of Religion", which many Americans have seem to forgotten! 

Quick Note: Maybe it's just me, but the Pledge of Allegiance kind of comes off a bit cult-y to me.

I'd personally love to move out of America, but because I don't have any money (Because of how America is with the rich getting richer), I can't. Not to mention, I'd preferably like to move somewhere warm, that is also Gay friendly. Unfortunately, I don't know if there is a place like that outside of California. 

Is it racist to be Patriotic?

Well no, that's just silly. The reason why so many people associate being Patriotic with Racism, is because many EXTREMELY Patriotic people are racist and that's where the association comes from. Like if so many patriotic people weren't racist, then the connotation Patriotic people being Racist, wouldn't exist. 

Anyways..

From my experience, there seems to be a very specific mindset for people who just LOVE their country soooo much! (Rude and has no personality.)

Don't get me wrong, you can love your country as much as you want, I'm not saying you can't. But when it's all you can talk about, and you make it your ENTIRE personality, that's when it gets weird and concerning.

Well that happened...

Now that I think of it, I remember a time when I was in Middle School. A Hall Monitor told me I needed to sit down once I get to class and when I got there, the Pledge of Allegiance came on and I still sat there. I have a habit of doing what people tell me to do, (which gets me into bad situations like being sexually harassed by the bus driver.) When all of a sudden, my teacher started yelling at me that I needed to stand up for the pledge of allegiance. (Like literally by law, you don't have to do the Pledge if you don't want to.) But in this case it was because I was told to sit down, otherwise I would have done it because that's just what I was told to do.  

Check out this article I found on the subject, they made some really interesting points as well. 

Why Instilling Patriotism is Ludicrous