What college did for me.

Gather round' children, and local hobo! It's time for me to tell you what college did for me!

Question: What did college do for you Hotspot?

Answer: College allowed for me to go into financial debt at a young age, yay! :D


I started going to college in the summer of 2008, right after I graduated high school.

My college screwed me over  big time, and I'm not the only one.

• For starters, I graduated a year later because they screwed up, and wouldn't let me take more classes than I should have.

• Then after getting my associates in Graphic Design, I went to go for my bachelors. However, they wouldn't let me back in, unless I started paying them! If I am correct, you're not suppose to pay the college money, unless if you've been out of that school for 6 months!

I was stuck not being able to pay them, and they wouldn't let me go back until then. I couldn't get a paying job at the time because I didn't have any experience in my field, or work experience at all.

• I ended up getting two volunteer jobs for a year, and a quarter. 20+  interviews later, I ended up getting a job in retail. Which ironically, I never went on an interview with, they hired me on the spot, after an orientation with them.

• The loan company wants me to pay 400 a month. By the time I got a job in retail, I was only making about 20--150 a week. I had to pay for rent, and other expenses.

My Student Loans get higher and higher, as I cannot pay the amount they want. As I edit this in 2019, I've only ever been paid minimum wage, which is currently 12 an hr. When I started retail, minimum wage was 7.25 an hour. check out my hourly wage guide!

Ironically, almost 10 years later, and I've yet to get a job in my field "Graphic Design". The most of done, is for this blog, and for forums, back in the day.

Funny enough, I've learned more things on my own, and online, than I did at that school. The only good thing about my college experience, was the friends I made.

The staff did not care about you once you are not enrolled anymore, I called three different people at three different times, and NOT ONE ever got back to me, how is that customer service exactly?
My friend was also groped by a teacher on camera, and when the "staff", looked at the footage, the "footage", was conveniently gone. Another time, a male professor told one of the girl students to wear more clothing because "It's distracting". This college was honestly a disgrace.

Most of the teachers were cool, (except the creepy ones) the one admissions counselor was nice too! She bumped into me in retail once, and was glad that I found something to keep me up.

Luckily, the college closed down in 2018. They actually got sued back around 2015, I got a large sum of money to help pay my loans.

Can someone change?

This question is from a completely different question from a formspring friend of mine named  Lizzie! She asked...

"Is it possible to fall out of love? Or was it never Love to begin with?"

My response was as follows..

When someone falls out of love, it usually just means that they changed, and they aren't the same person anymore.
Despite some people, who think someone can't change, you can, anyone can.

On a side note, I always thought it was ironic about someone I used to know. We were friends until they changed themselves and started acting up, being nasty etc..
I thought it was funny because that very person said that people don't change, but meanwhile they had changed themselves!

People not changing is just a fallacy, we change all of the time! But certain things stay, and certain things go, it's just how we flow!
I've changed over the years, but on certain levels. Everyone does, and everyone has!

The person that I was no longer friends with, was my ex friend I mentioned in previous posts named Mystique.
Originally we had gotten into an argument about Paula Deen saying the N word.
I said that it was 20 years ago, and that people shouldn't be so upset because people do change and she apologized. But Mystique didn't think for a second that Paula Deen was really apologetic.
Mystique thinks that people never change, and I thought that was funny because Mystique herself had changed, she used to be a nice person but then she had turned into a nasty vicious bitch.
I thought that was ironic that she said no one changes, when she did herself, and I wasn't the only person that said she changed, a few people said it as well.

The funny thing is, there are many people "Canceling", famous people, for saying dumb things 3-10 years ago. People can change, and sometimes people just say rude things, but don't actually mean it.

Here are links to the entire Mystique Series!
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 3.0 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

The 21st of August is a special day for me

I cannot believe it's the 21st already! The 21st of August is a special day for me that I think will always have a special place in my heart!

The 21st of August 2009, was the day that I realized, and accepted my sexuality as gay male.

Before that day for at least 1-2 years, I was so confused, and I just didn't want to be the person that was starting to shine through as the real me.

Even though I understood, and accepted my sexuality, I was not a happy camper at first,. There was a whole lot of maturing, and growing up I had to do.

I've learned so much over the past four years, and my eyes were very closed before hand. I had no idea of the ignorance, and hatred that occurred in this world when you are LGBT+.
It took a while for me to adjust to accept who I really was as a person, but I was able to do so and now, I'm better than ever!

I do find it a shame that society has built stereotypes that men, or women who are LGBT have to act, and/or behave a certain way to be LGBT. This was one of the big reasons why I didn't think I was gay because,

I wasn't like the people on tv, or in the "real world".

I wasn't flamboyant, I wasn't necessarily feminine. I was just a shy quiet nerd, that liked Anime, and Video games. I didn't realize I could be gay, because I didn't fit the mold of flamboyancy. I didn't know you could be an average joe, and be gay. I thought you had to be a cross-dressing, flamboyant person, to be gay.
This is why it's important to see lgbt people, of all shapes, sizes, and personalities, on tv, and in other media. I couldn't relate with people on tv, because I wasn't like them. I didn't know it was possible.

In reality, everyone is different. No matter what someone is, they can, and should be who they are! All because some people are one way, doesn't mean everyone else is the same way. Stereotypes are not to be trusted, and are very toxic! It just causes negative assumptions on people.

Hopefully one day society will take away stereotypes, and let people be who they are. (And not have people asking me if I want to date their friend with big breasts 50 times a day, just because I'm male, and don't fit the role of a flamboyant guy. )
There are plenty of flamboyant straight guys out there, as well as the gay ones.

I'm also not a big fan of the word Gay, as everyone uses it to mean "stupid". (As of 2019, I'm getting over it, and don't mind it so much anymore)

I prefer the word curved, because you don't go straight to the opposite gender, you curve to the same!
Let's make this an actual word people! Spread it around!

So, for now, and forever the 21st will always be a special day for me. Even if it just involves me sitting in a chair eating chips, and playing video games all day. :P

If you want the complete story and understanding, then just check this link out.
http://s4.zetaboards.com/Hotspots_Journal/forum/3853436/2/

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My LGBT rant: Collective Thoughts

This is my response to a question on formspring about "Vent about something.

Here is me, venting!

People who assume I, or anyone else is Straight:

It annoys me how most people In the real world (And sometimes online), automatically assume I am heterosexual. Just because I am not a flamboyant, or feminine male, does not mean I can't be lgbt, and same for the other way around. All because a male is flamboyant, or feminine, doesn't mean they're lgbt either. I know straight guys who are flamboyant, a friend of mine knows a straight guy who cross dresses, one of my best friends is a bisexual cross-dresser, he likes everyone!! All because someone appears one way, doesn't mean they're one thing, or another. Sure, there are more heterosexuals than homosexuals, but it is still not a cool, and inconsiderate thing to just assume I'm straight. Just because I don't fit the type, or that someone else is gay because they dyed their hair once.

For some reason, society has this thought that the only way a male can be gay, is if they're feminine/flamboyant. Which is not true at all, there are plenty of gay men that are regular guys. There are plenty of straight guys, who have feminine qualities. As I edit this article in 2019, I HAVE MET MANY STRAIGHT MEN, who have feminine characteristics. I had a crush on a dude, who would do project runway poses, but he was straight as a wooden ruler! I have a straight guy friend who loves Ru-Pauls drag race, and everyone thinks he's gay. (By everyone, I mean three people.) but he's not, he likes girls.

The same would apply for women, they could be feminine, and like girls. I've also met plenty of straight women, who were tomboys. In fact, a few straight women I know in the real world, are more of a man than I could ever be.
Because society has created this horrible stereotype, It has created this monster in people. They assume everyone is heterosexual until proven otherwise. In fact, I would go on a limb to suggest that many/most straight people don't even think gay people exist, until someone gay is right in front of them. Like they could walk into a room of 1000 people, and not think any of them could be gay. The only time they'd think someone was gay, is if it was "blatantly obvious" they will assume they are gay. 10 years ago, when I wrote this, the term would have been metrosexual. But now, straight guys are being themselves, and are showing more feminine characteristics. You really can't just judged a book by it's cover.

I think the worst part for me is when IRL, someone assumes I am heterosexual, that I am too shy to correct them!(As of 2019, I'm getting better at not being shy about it. I'm just concerned if someone is a homophobe, I wouldn't want them to know, because I don't want to deal with the drama!)
I had one guy at my retail job ask me if I wanted him to hook me up with a female friend of his with big breasts (That is putting what he said mildly).
I just told him no maybe 5 times (because he kept pushing... Are you sure? YES I AM SURE I DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOUR FEMALE FRIEND!!!), but I didn't tell him why. Which gets annoying because he has asked me at least three times on three different days, and months. Like why does a straight guy care so much about me getting a girlfriend, is beyond me.
Although, I am sure there are plenty of heterosexual, bisexual and pansexual men who do not want to date random women who they have never seen or met before. As well as homosexual, bisexual and pansexual women.
There was one time though, where he asked me in the break room. I was under the impression that my one friend told him about my sexuality, because he started calling one of our male co workers my boyfriend. (Which ended up just being a random coincidence.)
But when he asked me if I had a girlfriend, or something under that line. I said "I thought "Insert co-worker/friend's name here" told you something about me that would make you not ask that question anymore.".
And one of the girls I was becoming friends with named Latifah, said she thought she knew why I had said that.
Eventually he asked me if I'd rather sleep with Ashley, or Cerina. (I changed the names for privacy reasons). When I told him "Scott, you know, the security guard". He looked at me like I had five heads, I said. "What? You never asked me what gender I was attracted to!". After that, he never tried to set me up with girls again. Ironically enough, he was also quite flirty with me, and even admitted it once.
At the time, Latifah, my other friend Karina, and my friend Victor's mother, are the only ones at the time, that figured out my sexuality all by themselves, not counting certain family members.

Another time I walked into work, and I had a new hair cut. One of the managers went "Nice hair cut, you'll get all of the chicks!" or something along the lines of that. I think she said girls not chicks, but she sure does use the word chicks a whole lot.
I just kept walking, and muttered under my breath that I don't want that.
She even went to a male customer the other day, and asked him if he was getting a gift bag for his chick. She was right that one time, he was getting the gift bag for his girlfriend.
I think she has asked me if I had a girlfriend one time, and I just said no. I just couldn't say why, because I was shy.
The guy Scott, that I mentioned before, was my crush at the time. She would always ask about "his chick".
I know she doesn't know my sexuality, but it kind of bothers me though. I know I have to get over him anyway since he's a straight guy. I get dull faced and a sad thought process, but I have no idea if my face changes and people notice.  (EDIT from 2019, girl, there are so many better looking guys you end up liking later on anyways)
But then an image pops in my mind of my friends from college, and they're screaming at me going "IT DOESN'T"T MATTER IF HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!! YOU JUST HAVE TO SEDUCE HIM!!!". I love my friends from college, they're awesome. XD
That actually happened too, just not in that context. I just told them I liked a security guy at work and that he had a girlfriend. They just told me it didn't matter, and that he'll already have handcuffs. lmao.

For some reason, I think it would be easier if I wasn't single, I might have the courage to just say "I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a boyfriend!". That seems like something that sums things up pretty quickly! I feel like that could be easy for me to say.
There's also the other part where I am afraid to tell people my sexuality, as not everyone is cool with it.
I just hate how everyone thinks I am heterosexual because I am not flamboyant or feminine, I am just your average guy who likes anime and video games. I just so happen to also like the body, face and genitals of a man and want to fall in love with one. That, and I have no attraction to women at all. (They're icky) :P

Gay People are totally flaunting their sexuality!:

I also hate it when people say that gay people are flaunting their sexuality. GAY PEOPLE ARE NOT FLAUNTING THEIR SEXUALITY!
The reason why there are idiots who say gay people are flaunting their sexuality, is because they aren't used to it because of societies dislike for the LGBT community. Because gay people are condemned from the world, there is no exposure of them, so due to the lack of exposure. Straight people think they're "flaunting" it because they just haven't seen it enough to see gay people as the norm. For instance, If they were reborn in a time where men hold each other's hands, and same for women, they would NEVER say or think that. They would think that LGBT people are just like everyone else and wouldn't bat an eye. But because it's rare and not considered the norm it's considered flaunting because they haven't seen enough gay exposure.  They're simply not used to it, and think it's int their face when they see it that one time.
They could have a movie, where there's a minor gay character in the background, that gets 10 seconds of limelight. Out of a 2 hour long movie, people will complain saying that "Gay character was unneeded", and how they're "okay with gay people, but they didn't need this character to be gay, or in their face". People like that need to GET...OVER...YOURSELVES!!! The world does not revolve around you, there are always going to be people that are different than you are, grow up!

If anyone is flaunting their sexuality, it would be straight people. You can find straight people holding hands, kissing, being "cute". You see straight people half naked with each other in ads, on tv, you see them in tv shows and movies. Sitcoms, and other shows usually revolve around a straight family, and about how boys like girls, and like manly stuff. While girls like boys, and like girly things like dolls. Not only do straight people possibly flaunt their sexuality, by being everywhere, and sucking each others faces off. But they also promote people in gender roles. (Like what you like, and not like things because it's supposed to be for "boys", or for "girls". Gender roles are formed by society to put us in boxes! )
STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE, being very sexual with each other. The one time a gay couple holds hands, everyone loses their minds. It's ridiculous, and hypocritical.
When I see straight people kissing, or anything. I just ignore it and move on, I don't complain about it like some whiny bitch.

With idiots thinking everyone is straight, many of us have no choice but to constantly say that we are gay. Which is what the straights consider "Flaunting our sexuality". Listen here, if you're assuming I'm straight, and I have to come out to you as not straight. You're the one flaunting your heterosexuality to me, by assuming I'm what you are.

If society didn't assume everyone was straight, then no one would have to come out and say they are gay or bi. In which no one would be "flaunting" their sexuality, even though they aren't though.

Why isn't there a straight pride day?

There are other people who will say... "Why isn't there a straight pride day?". Gay pride is just like mother's day or father's day. Every other day is kids day, in which every other day is straight people day. The LGBT community barely exists, and the only way to get recognized is to hold events and get more out there so people can understand that not everyone is the same, as well as teach tolerance and love.
With Gay pride, we finally get to be heard, known and seen. We barely exist in this world due to many straight people and their ignorance, hatred towards us.
Which is when I realized that some people will never understand certain things because they are just too ignorant to get it.
LGBT people are constantly murdered, attacked, kicked out of their houses, banned from stores/restaurants, banned from adopting, or donating blood. (Which is ironic because then blood banks complain that no one's donating blood... well maybe don't ostracize an entire group for being ignorant! LGBT people are so careful with preventing diseases, that they're probably more disease free than the straight people!!)

It is however a fact, that some people of any shape and size will flaunt themselves for various reasons, ut that is really a tiny portion of people, and should not reflect everyone because it doesn't!
I sure as hell don't flaunt anything, I'm too shy to tell anyone anything that isn't my first name.
In reality though, there will be gay people who do flaunt it, but not a whole lot of people at all, especially if the world consists of 10% of gay people. If anything, these gay people just like to be flashy, and wear crazy outfits, and act extra.

Ironically, the only reason why we have gay pride. Is because STRAIGHT PEOPLE, are the ones being prejudice in the first place! If there weren't so many homophobes in the world, and everyone was accepting of LGBT people, we wouldn't need a gay pride in the first place. So if you want someone to blame, that's on straight people!!

The word Gay, (DAS GAY MAN):

For a very long time, I hated the word "Gay". Many people used/use it to mean "Stupid". To me, it feels like I'm just calling myself stupid, instead of calling myself someone who likes guys. So I usually used the word "homosexual", or my made up word "Curved". (Because like, why are straight people straight, and gay people are gay? Wouldn't it make more sense if gay people were Curved?)
Lot's of times, I just say something like, oh I like guys.. etc..
As of 2019, I'm getting way more used to the word Gay, and not using Homosexual. I've also realized that sometimes when a word becomes negative, you have to use your power to take it back! Make it mean something positive again!

The following are fun quotes you can use to describe your sexuality.

1. Sorry, I like Hot dogs, not tacos.
2. I like Churros, not donuts.
3. And my favorite, which is "I like the pole and not the hole". Which so far I told one person and I don't think they got it.....
4. My friend Victor said if a girl flirts with me, I should say. "I would tear that up, but unfortunately, you have the wrong parts. Now, if you have a brother, bring him over!". lol

Right now, I honestly think the only way for people to not put me in the heterosexual category is to just get a giant rainbow colored tattoo that just says "IS GAY" on my forehead!
I'd be on the 10 o clock news... "23 year old boy gets beaten for tattoo on forehead."
I wouldn't be surprised if some people still didn't get the message =_=".
It'd be like "DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU WHAT THAT MEANS YOU GIANT IMBECILE! WHERE'S THE ACTOR GEORGE EADS AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS!". (2019 Me: Oh my, 2013 me sure was something else wasn't I....)

Why are straight men hot? It's not cool.: 

I'd also like to make a short paragraph on my frustration that 99.9% percent of the men I have ever crushed on were straight guys! It's so not cool, and unfair. Most gay men I found to be unattractive, so I also sometimes worry If I will ever meet anyone.
Although, it's also true that I don't go anywhere... so....yeah.

Although, sometimes I just wish I was asexual, cause then I could just do more fun things and not worry about men related issues. XD

My hiijinks

Question: When was the last time you royally f*cked something up?

My Answer: I don't remember, so I'm going to make something up!

I made lot's of cool variations of this image!
(Night, Sunset, Blood!)

There was this one time that I was invited into a kings castle, and well I got adventurous, and decided to explore!
Of course I got curious, and just had to move this oddly shaped candlestick that was just poking out like a penis!
All of a sudden, WOOSH! A door opened up and an extreme amount of air sucked me right in!
There I was, in the dark, when all of a sudden candles starting light up, one after another... it revealed a hallway that looked like it would never end!
I walked down the never-ending hallway, to find a room, there was nothing in it except for a treasure chest.
Now, I'm not a greedy person, but I am a curious one... so I had to look inside!
Would you believe it if I told you there was a gold plated vase inside of the treasure chest?
It was so beautiful I just had to take a picture of it, and post it on Facebook!

But what I didn't know was that anyone who takes out the golden vase, curses the whole castle! Suddenly, the ground started to shake, and the whole room was trembling.
Pieces of stone were falling from the ceiling, and I knew it was time to get the F*CK out of there! I ran towards the hall way, and out to the door and room where the candlestick was.
I saw a soldier who told me to evacuate, which is exactly what I was doing.

I ran out of the castle like a bat out of hell.

Eventually I ran so far I had reached the mountains... that is, when I saw the entire castle delve into the ground, and disappear into a bottomless pit!
 

I was appalled as to what just happened.

That castle was called 108 Stars castle, and the reason why it doesn't sound familiar is because this happened centuries ago. You see I am a time traveler, and I went back in time to explore castles...
You may know the place now as Mount Everest! A mountain totally took form there afterwards, pretty amazing stuff I might add!

That's the story on how I destroyed a castle by complete accident!

My hero is Neil Patrick Harris

I only have one hero.

Neil Patrick Harris

He is my hero because, he showed me you could be a average guy, and be gay. Growing up as a teen, I only knew of gay guys who were super flamboyant, and wore women's clothing. I thought, well that's not me, so I can't be gay! I had a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality, and what made it worse is, I didn't identify with gay men that I knew/saw on tv. I just thought you had to be a flamboyant cross-dresser to be gay. I was just your average shy nerd. In fact, a friend of mine's first opinion of me was a "Shy Virgin". lol She didn't know I was gay at first.

When I was 16- 17, I was struggling with my sexuality. I was having feelings I didn't want, and I didn't like the idea of being gay, I just wanted to be heterosexual, or bisexua. I wanted to be into women, but no matter how hard I tried, I was just not attracted to the opposite gender and it bothered me. I think one reason why I had a hard time with my sexuality was, I just didn't really know, or understand that it was an option. I always thought people could only be straight  (This is why LGBT representation in the media is IMPORTANT, so people don't think there's something wrong with them, and that there are more people like them!) If I had known people could be gay, and that everyone's different. I wouldn't have struggled with my sexuality like I did.


One of the reasons for my denial in my sexuality was because of my cousins cousin, who is a big time flamboyant/feminine homosexual man. Since he was my only real life exposure to the gay world I thought all gay men were like him, flamboyant. Since I didn't have those characteristics I told myself I couldn't be into men because I wasn't like that, I wasn't flamboyant. I wasn't like him, so I figured I couldn't be....

I also think the media also gave me a bad impression, since there weren't really any LGBT characters on tv or anywhere. I barely knew that someone could be into the same gender. But any time there was a homosexual man, they were always flamboyant and wore female oriented clothes, and maybe even a spot of make up (Ya gotta look fabulous ya know. :P).
Unfortunately I didn't know about Will & Grace yet either, Jack was flamboyant, but not over the top flamboyant. Will & Grace would have helped me with my sexuality when I was younger, but I didn't watch it until I was 21 in 2011, not 16..etc..

Neil Patrick Harris came out to the general public in 2006, around the same time I started having feelings I didn't understand and when he did. I heard about it, He changed my eyes on what a gay man was. Here he was, just an average guy. Not a stereotypical gay man, but Neil Patrick Harris showed me that you could be average and be gay too!
The reason for all of this, was that I wasn't flamboyant like my cousins, cousin. So I thought I couldn't be gay, because I wasn't like him. But I didn't know that there were more than just one type of LGBT people. (In reality there are plenty of types of people per category really).

I look at NPH as my hero because he was the one that made me realize that you're your own person, and stereotypes are just that, stereotypes! There are plenty of LGBT are are flamboyant to the bone, but there are plenty of average ones too, they just aren't as noticeable since flamboyant men tend to stick out more because of their , heir bright colored clothes, amazing taste in fashion.

We're all different and all because one person is who they are and are a certain way, doesn't mean you have to be anything like that. You're your own person, and stereotypes are just that, stereotypes!

Unfortunately lot's of people in society haven't grasped this concept yet, people always assume I'm straight unless I tell them! Since I'm shy I don't usually tell them. Usually they find out after I add them on facebook.
Sometimes I'll get someone asking me if I have a girlfriend and I just say no cause I'm too shy to tell the truth. Maybe one day I'll just say "I like the pole not the hole, thank you very much." XD