I dislike how some people just throw others away like yesterdays news, like having friends should be disposable or something. I also dislike how some people can think it is okay to just throw you out of their life without a word, like, I thought we were friends?! This is what I get for being friends with you? Not even a goodbye!
Of course, I don't mean when people just slowly leave, like you just aren't close anymore and become less and less in contact, that is different and more of a mutual thing. I just mean when people decide they aren't your friends anymore, and "they be like BYE FELICIA!" Just without the Bye Felicia part, or maybe with the bye Felicia part, It depends really.
As a kid, I didn't have many friends. I had about two friends, and my cousin for a good portion of my childhood. But I didn't always get to see them, lot's of times I was just alone. They were/are great friends, and I was always happy to have them. I didn't really have school friends, all of the kids in my school either bullied me, or just flat out ignored me, all except my two friends. (One lived in the same house as me, and we just happened to go to the same school. So I didn't technically meet them through school.)
When I moved an hour away from my hometown at the age of 12, I didn't have friends anymore. This was back when the internet was pretty new, and we still used a dial up connection. I never saw one of my friends again, I did only get to add her on facebook like four years ago (May 2014). My other friend I would talk on the phone with, but one day we just stopped, we keep in touch via facebook after like 5 years of no contact.
When I moved, I went to a new school in the 6th grade, and although I made some friends. They weren't friends, just kids that I would talk to on occasion. I was never invited to hang out at someone's house, sleep over, none of those things. They were all just people I would sometimes talk to while in that class. They were just people to talk to, and it was obvious to me that they cared about other people so much more than they did for me. By the time I was in high-school, I did make more friends, but by the time I was in the 12th grade, I was a ghost. I didn't know anyone anymore because everyone had graduated already, as I had a tendency to make friends with kids in higher grades, those kids tended to be like an older brother, or sister to me. Like we would talk sometimes and they would tell me they will beat anyone up for me (If someone was mean to me. lol), but at the end of the day, I wasn't as important to them as I thought I was. The 12th grade for me was just going to school, I got to take fun classes, but no one really talked to me anymore. Everyone was gone, or they just didn't talk to me anymore. I really just went to school in high school, everyone had better things to do than talk to me. I usually spent my free periods sitting at an empty table just drawing characters from video games, or going into the library to go on the computer. Don't get me wrong, I do like having friends, but I also like being alone, so I always had a blast at school. Even if I was just drawing, or on the internet hoping that one mean librarian lady wouldn't yell at me for some stupid reason.
The biggest problem was that I am shy In the real world, I also have social anxiety, so it's just hard for me to talk to random strangers to make friends. This was one reason why I was a ghost in high school, I was too shy to talk to people and make friends, any friend I ever made in school was because they came up to me to talk to me.
By the time I started college, I had no friends again. No one bothered to keep in touch with me, well except for one person, but only because I found him on facebook.
When I started college, I never had a sleep over, I never hung out with anyone, I didn't talk to anyone except for my online friends. I had childhood friends that I didn't see anymore because I had moved.
My first sleep over happened when I was 23, because I had actually made friends for once.
My last year of college was when I FINALLY made friends, people that I actually have hung out with and still talk to even today!
This was back in the fall of 2010, when I was 20, turning 21 in December.
The one friend from high school that I added on facebook, was friends with someone else from high school who I didn't know, but I had seen her around, and always thought she was interesting.
I decided to add her on facebook and she was like "I remember you!".
Well, it turned out that we were going to the same college too. The first day of the new fall semester we met up ,and I started to hang out with her at college.
This was the first time I was actually a part of something, an actual group of people who were all friends.
Eventually, I made some more friends and finally, I was a part of the group, and I finally had some friends.
Sometimes we would all go out to eat , or other activities. It was a blast to finally had some friends.
Although, I don't talk to them all (About 30 people), I still talk to a bunch of them. I even hang out with two of them every now and again.
For once in my life, at the sad or tender age of 20-21, I had finally made friends, real friends that were actually there for me and that I actually got to hang out with.
The sad thing about it (Aside from the fact that I didn't really have friends until the age of 20), is that I also didn't really know what it was like to have friends, so it was all new to me and I would be confused about certain things.. since I hadn't experienced it before.
I also made some great friends after starting my third job in retail, considering stores have many more employees, you have a better chance on meeting someone with similar interests. I've met quite a handful of really interesting people in retail, and I have become close to some of them and many of them have become good friends to me.
"How do you make friends, If you're not supposed to talk to strangers?"
You just have to have the courage to talk to someone, or be very engaging and reply to someone if a person starts talking to you.
You could even go as far as to add someone on facebook that goes to school or work with you, and then start from there. Make a nice message, "Hey, what's up?".
You could even try sites like http://friendmatch.org/ to make friends locally.
How to keep friends.
Not everyone wants to be your friend, some people might just think you're a cool person, in which you think they are your friend. (Or is that just me?)
There are a couple of people that I considered my friend, and I wanted to keep in touch with them, but they wouldn't always respond to my messages. Quickly I realized that like they didn't really want to be my friend, maybe they don't really consider me a friend at all!
But at the same time, I want to make sure I am reaching out to the person, so that we do not lose touch.
If they don't want to be your friend, then you may end up turning into an annoying person, in their eyes...
The people who are genuinely into you as a friend will be engaging to you at all times, they will be interested in you in the real word, and in the virtual world. The ones that aren't really interested in you as a friend, are the ones that don't really respond to you online or via text. They may not seem interested in you in person, and won't be engaging to you, unless they just want to talk.
I find when someone does find me interesting, that they will come to seek me out on their own to talk to me. People who aren't really into you as a friend tend to just kind of do their own thing. If you always start the conversation, then they may not consider you a friend. This isn't always the case though, and usually not true for shy people or introverts, as shy or introverted people tend to find it hard to talk to people in general. (I'm both shy and introverted, so this is from my experience of being afraid of talking to people, and being drained of energy by being around people.) As a shy person, it is hard to talk to people sometimes, so someone else starting the conversation can be a good thing.
My friendship Hierarchy
I categorize my friends in a certain hierarchy. I have Best Friends, Good Friends, Friends and Acquaintances.
Obviously, best friends are highest while acquaintances are lowest. I'll put a bit of an explanation below.
Best Friend (Or Bestie for short :P ): Best friends are the ones you can talk to about anything, they always have your back and they never let you down, you never let them down either. Nothing you or they can say will ever offend or break your friendship, if you guys have a fight, you'll be back to normal in no time.
Best friends are your strongest allies in the war of life,and they are always there for you and vice versa!
Little Note:
Besties 4 lyfe!
I've noticed that my besties were there from the start! Like, I immediately had a strong connection with them right from the beginning. If you're struggling to become someone's friend, it doesn't mean to stop, but they aren't going to become your bestie and they aren't meant to be your best friend, maybe just a friend, or maybe they aren't supposed to be your friend at all.
Good Friends: Good friends have your back no matter what, they are fun people to be around. They aren't your best friend, but they're pretty close to you and you can count on them.
Friends: Are people that can be fun to talk to, you don't always talk, and you may not even be close. But they can just be a fun person to be around and talk to from time to time.
Acquaintances: Are more like people that you know, but you aren't necessarily friends, this is applies for co-workers that you can talk to, but aren't necessarily friends.
This is just my list, I am sure other people have different views and thoughts on friendship and their list.
That was my post, comment below if you would like to say what you have on your mind, or if you want to throw a bowling ball at me... either thing is fine.
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